(If you are new here and you are interested in this study, please page down to the “Article Series” link below, or “Women Who Run With The Wolves” in the Category section in the sidebar to the right to view previous reflections.)
Finding That Intuition
Oh, how I’ve been waiting to get to this place! Chapter 3 of Women Who Run With The Wolves, “Nosing Out the Facts: The Retrieval of Intuition as Initiation,” has been eye-opening for me. It has clarified why I so desire to walk in wisdom each day. It might seem to be second-nature to some of you; nevertheless, I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way – to be on a quest for something of such incredible value which at times seems to be elusive.
Dr. Estes puts it this way:
“Intuition is the treasure of a woman’s psyche. It is like a divining instrument and like a crystal through which one can see with uncanny interior vision. It is like a wise old woman who is with you always, who tells you exactly what the matter is, tells you exactly whether you need to go left or right.“
I mentioned above that it seems like this intuition has been elusive to me. It’s not like I’ve not “heard” my soul speaking to me. It’s that I’ve not given it my attention way more often than I’d like to admit. And we know if we don’t pay attention to a thing, that thing (whether a man, woman, child, dog, cat, etc.) eventually relegates itself to the outer banks. It’s like I’ve given my most long-time, bestest friend the cold-shoulder for way too long. I want her back.
What’s great is that she wants to come back to me! And I’m open, ready. To make way for her, Dr. Estes introduces the story of Vasalisa, “…a woman’s initiation story…about the realization that most things are not as they seem.” It’s sort of a “sweet-and-sour” story, but to me, quite endearing. If you don’t yet have Women Who Run With The Wolves, you can read the story here (the story appears on several pages on this site; lots of interesting illustrations with it).
What I’d like to do is read Vasalisa this week and ask you to offer your interpretations of the story before we examine Dr. Estes’ analysis over the next two weeks (I think).
That means I’d love for you to offer your comments!!!
So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and enjoy the story. Then come back here and provide feedback. I’d love to hear what you have to say!
Have a great week!
I am learning so much about meeting people in the world of blogging. Mostly, I am humbled by the comments I receive to my posts. You all have let me know that you value the content that I produce here. I am so appreciative that you all come to see me here.
I’m saying this because it seems I responded to the “Simply Successful Secrets” meme but didn’t realize more than one person tagged me for it. I responded here to Laura’s tag, but forgot that Ophelia at Breathing Prosperity and Sania Wyatt tagged me for the same meme. And now, I’m feeling a bit awkward, somewhat penitent, that I didn’t acknowledge Ophelia and Sania for tagging me.
What that means is some great people read my blog, and I overlooked two people who do (and I hope will continue to do so). So Ophelia, I apologize to you for not acknowledging your tag. And Sania, I apologize to you as well for not acknowledging your tag. I appreciate you thinking so much of me to include me and I hope you will continue to consider me when good things like that come down the paths of the blogging world.
Hi everyone! Coming to you today is this week’s edition of my Friday Favorites. I’m featuring posts this week from two blogs that are new to me, one blog that I’m stuck on, and a wonderful movie that I hope you’ll love.
Favorite #1 – Are you in a state of stagnation, implementation, or imagination? According to Jessica Hagy at Indexed, she shows us that it’s all in the balance of reality and ideas in her post “Yes, there is always another option.” This entire blog is incredibly creative, as Jessica uses a unique way to communicate her ideas. You’ve got to check it out.
Favorite #2 – It’s exciting to have a dream, something you’re shooting for, isn’t it? Isn’t it exciting, also, to hear about someone’s aspirations? How should you react when your friends share their dreams with you? How should others respond when you share your dreams with them? Kristian at Parable of Kristian offers some practical advice in a post entitled “when i tell you a dream, the Standard Operating Procedure is…” This is for those of you who’ve been looking for a way to answer your naysayers.
Favorite #3 – Do you want to make a difference in the world? How do you go about doing it? Manchild addresses this question and provides answers in his post, “Where Do You Get Your Ideas?” You don’t have to try to think of ways to make a difference all by yourself! Manchild tells you how. (Of course, for those of you who don’t know, Manchild is my wonderful husband.)
Favorite #4 – How will you spend the remainder of your dash? I discovered this beautiful movie entitled “The Dash” which will get you thinking about your life and how you will spend it. In fact, this movie and all the posts featured here compliment one another. Sit back and enjoy for a few minutes.
Please take a look at these posts. I hope you find them as informative and inspiring as I did! And as always, make sure you leave comments! We all love comments, don’t we?
I heard the following this past week…
Question: Can God create a mountain so great that even He can’t move it?
Answer: Yes…if that mountain is YOU…because God gave you the freedom to choose.
The best thing I love about blogging is the potential for learning from the wisdom and insight of other people. I can imagine how long it would’ve taken to “meet” the wonderful people I’ve met since I began back in November. And through this fabulous community, I’ve grown a little, if not more. I remember just recently reading a post by Madena at Soul To Soul entitled “Visioncasting,” where she asked,
“What have you done to encourage people in your life? What kind of vision are you casting for them? Are you surrounding them with positive comments or are you beating them down with negative discouraging statements?”
As soon as I read those questions, I called my husband and said, “Sweetheart, I believe in you!” It was completely unexpected for him, yet he appreciated the encouragement. I know I need to do a better job casting that vision with and for him.
“Love and Fear,” a fabulous presentation Camille placed on her site Now really made me reflect on what love really is. I’ve always looked at the definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13, which describes love as “being” something, “acting” a certain way. Notwithstanding that, this presentation gave a bit more life to what being patient, kind, bearing all things, and believing all things means. It’s beautiful!
I say all this to say I’ve learned a lot from lots of people in the blogging community (is there a better way to say “blogging community”?). The opportunity to grow and change for the better is always present. And so I’ve been presented with another opportunity to grow and change. Laura from WritingThoughts has tagged me for a meme (if anyone really wants to know what this means, head on over to Now where Camille provides a detailed explanation – no need to do any additional research!) which, as Laura describes,
“…calls for each blogger to share those little secrets that have helped them to succeed. The purpose of the meme is simple. To help each other.”
The originator of this meme, Aaron Potts at Today Is That Day, is conducting an “interactive research project” in which he is compiling those activities bloggers engage in daily that helps them be successful. Take a look here to get further details.
Okay. I’ve stalled enough. I’ll give you what works for me when I’m consistent with these activities! Keep in mind that success for me means doing that which God has called me to do. This doesn’t just mean on a grand scale – it really has to do with day-to-day activities. And so, to get to where I am doing what God would have me do daily (which is something for which I strive – I don’t get it as often as I’d like), there are a few things that are key.
#1 – Praying and journal writing is the number one thing I must do if I am to remain anywhere near centered. Writing my prayers down in a journal helps me to see what I’m praying for and what answers I’m receiving. Sometimes I get answers right away, more often not. But seeing it on paper helps me to clarify things and sometimes put things into perspective.
#2 – Having a grateful attitude and staying positive is absolutely essential. If I’m complaining about things, I am not focusing on the incredible blessings God has absolutely poured out on me (and He has absolutely rained down wonderful favor upon me!). In fact, if I’m not grateful, my memory tends to stay short (which does not work well for me at all).
#3 – Reading constantly is a must. I love books! I learn so much from books! There is much out there that can help us grow into the people God has called us to become by picking up a book. I tend to read books that cause me to look deep inside myself, books on relationships/marriage, as well as some fiction, such as The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd and Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. I plan to try to read Beloved by Toni Morrison this summer.
#4 – Staying organized helps me focus. When my desk is cluttered, when my house is cluttered, my mind is cluttered. It is amazing that when I’m organized at school and at home, my mind is clearer. (It took me years to figure this out!)
#5 – Eating properly and working out a little each day does wonders for me – again, when I’m consistent. It’s been a little while since I’ve been in this spot though, but when I am, I feel lighter and more peaceful (definitely more joyful that I don’t look like a cow in my clothes!), which allows me to be less focused on that fact that I’m overweight.
Wow, what an incredible exercise! I plan to print this post out myself and place it someplace where I can see it everyday!
Now I’d like to tag Rachel at The Challenge of Life and Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness for the next round.
(If you are new here and you are interested in this study, please page down to the “Article Series” link below to view prior reflections.)
The Quest for the Wild Woman
Last week in our reflection, we discussed four key questions we must begin with as we seek to reconstruct and reclaim ourselves as women. Those questions are fraught with difficulty; indeed, the questions in and of themselves may cause one to be taken aback with confusion, maybe even fear. Dr. Estes does not pretend this is easy work at all, though, and she encourages us all, affirming,
“The deepest work is usually the darkest. A brave woman, a wisening woman, will develop the poorest psychic land, for if she builds only on the best land of her psyche, she will have for a view the least of what she is. So do not be afraid to investigate the worst. It only guarantees increase of soul power through fresh insights and opportunities for re-visioning one’s life and self anew.”
It is this type of work where we
“…ultimately are able to break the old patterns of ignorance, by being able to behold a horror and not look away. [We] are able to see, and to stand what [we] see.”
This is where I’ve fought for years. I haven’t been able to look within and honestly see the ugly for what it is and be able to take it, to accept that it’s there and not beat myself over the head because of it. Upon reading that quote above, my soul sighed out of relief because I realized that I didn’t have to run away from it anymore. That I could look at that which is offensive inside and accept it for what it is. For those who are struggling with this, Dr. Estes offers us the following:
“If a woman does not look into these issues of her own deadness and murder, she remains obedient to the dictates of the predator…[But] Now that she see this, now that she registers how captured she is and how much psychic life is at stake, now she can assert herself in an even more powerful manner.”
So what we are doing is what Dr. Estes refers to as
“planning our escapes…whether from an old destructive mode, a lover, or a job…she is trying to rouse energy to overwhelm the captor, whether that specifically or in combination by a destructive religion, husband, family, culture, or a woman’s negative complexes.”
(I personally identify with those “negative complexes.”)
But how do we plan this “escape”? How do we rid ourselves of the negativity within, no matter what its source? Dr. Estes puts it this way:
“Instead of reviling the predator of the psyche, or running away from it, we dismember it. We accomplish this by not allowing ourselves divisive thoughts about our soul-life and our worth in particular. We capture invidious thoughts before they become large enough to do any harm, and we dismantle them.
“We dismantle the predator by countering its diatribes with our own nurturant truths. Predator: ‘You never finish anything you start.’ Yourself: ‘I finish many things.’ We dismantle the assaults of the natural predator by taking to heart and working with what is truthful in what the predator says and then discarding the rest.
“Women find that as they vanquish the predator, taking from it what is useful and leaving the rest, they are filled with intensity, vitality, and drive.”
I was encouraged and enlivened reflecting on Dr. Estes’ advice. There’s much to consider, but I no longer feel like I have to dread it.
It is at this point in Chapter 2 that Dr. Estes speaks of “The Dark Man in Women’s Dreams.” I didn’t get a good handle on this section because she describes the dark man dream as if a woman would have this type of dream in only one way. I’ve never had the type of dream she conveys here, so I’ve been having a hard time with this part of the chapter.
In essence, though, having a dream about “the dark man” can signal a woman is dealing with the predator and she needs to do something. Nevertheless, that something isn’t always related to one’s soul, necessarily. It could relate “a message about the threatening aspects of the culture one lives in, whether it be a small but brutal culture at the office, one within their own family, the lands of their neighborhood, or as wide as their own religious or national culture.” If, in fact, the dream is related to these types of cultural issues, “key” questions need to be asked again, such as, “What stands behind these proscriptions I see in the outer world? What goodness or usefulness of the individual, of the culture, the earth, of human nature has been killed, or lies dying here?” Dr. Estes, continues by saying,
“As these issues are examined, the woman is enabled to act according to her own abilities, according to her own talents. To take the world into one’s arms and to act toward it in a soul-filled and soul-strengthening manner is a powerful act…”
But a woman might excuse herself from such acts, whether toward the world or toward oneself, saying,
“I’m not talented. I’m not important. I’m not educated. I have no ideas. I don’t know how. I don’t know what. I don’t know when. And the most scurrilous of all: I don’t have time.”
What does a woman do? As stated above, dismantle the predator.
To summarize this chapter:
“In the Bluebeard story we see how a woman who falls under the spell of the predator rouses herself and escapes him, wiser for the next time. The story is about transformation of four shadowy introjects which are in particular contention for women: have no integrity of vision, have no deep insight, have no original voice, have no decisive action. In order to banish the predator, we must unlock or pry ourselves and other matters open to see what is inside. We must use our abilities to stand what we see. We must speak our truth in a clear voice. And we must be able to use our wits to do what need be about what we see.”
There is much to think about here. We’ll go on to Chapter 3, “Nosing Out the Facts: The Retrieval of Intuition as Initiation” next week. However, I want to take this chapter slowly since I’m still chewing on Chapter 2. Next week, I’ll present the story associated with Chapter 3 before we move forward.
Any thoughts, questions, ideas, issues? I’d love to hear them!!!
Last week, I wrote a little about reclaiming our dreams, rediscovering those things that God has placed within our hearts to become all that He has called us to be. I read an absolutely fabulous book that, if you’re not yet convinced about your importance in this world, should drive you in the direction of achieving that which may be buried in inside your soul.
In the book The Alchemist, the author, Paulo Coelho, suggests we all encounter signs along our individual journeys that somehow communicate to us which way to turn – to the right or to the left, to go straight, to stand still. It is a “fable” that explains how those signs appear in the life of a young man named Santiago. Publisher’s Weekly (from Amazon.com) says, “[the book is] full of specific wisdom…about becoming self-empowered, overcoming depression, and believing in dreams. The cumulative effect is like hearing a wonderful bedtime story from an inspirational psychiatrist.”
It’s a quick read; I read the book in several hours. I plan to read it again this summer. Why? Because I need a bit of encouragement to be reminded that
“…before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up. It’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.’”
The Alchemist
in The Alchemist
I’ve heard more than one preacher say that when God has called you to a thing, He makes it easy for you to accomplish. I don’t mean to come down on those preachers, but it’s just not true. In fact, in making such a claim, we forget about those biblical characters who were called who all experienced difficulty in doing God’s will, such as Abraham, Moses, Naomi, Esther, Jesus… I wish it was true that with God’s call comes with ease, but what would we learn along the way? How would we gain strength to endure? How would we grow? It just doesn’t make sense. But here’s the hope:
“Every search begins with beginner’s luck. And every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested.” (emphasis mine)
The Alchemist
in The Alchemist
Notice, in seeking that to which we are called, we will, as long as we stick to it, become victorious. And as we become victorious, we will be able to help others along the way. Why is this so important? As the alchemist tells the protagonist of the story, the boy on his journey,
“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.”
The Alchemist
in The Alchemist
I indicated a couple of weeks ago that I may need to change this regular Friday post to “Four Favorites For Friday.” Actually, I’ve decided to change it to “Friday Favorites.” This week, I discovered four posts that I particularly enjoyed.
Favorite #1 – One of my favorites from this week comes from Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness. In her post, “The Law of Sacrifice…” she makes the point that regardless of one’s faith tradition, “we can each understand the idea of bringing into our lives something more lovely and powerful than the routine and mundane of life.” Take a look at her suggestions on how to make life sacred.
Favorite #2 – This past week I’ve been talking a bit about reclaiming our dreams. In her post “Negativity Halts Forward Progress,” Robyn at Brain Based Biz not only looks at the influence of negative conversation, but she examines a very important scientific link that will explain how are dreams and goals can get derailed. Thank you, Robyn.
Favorite #3 – I recently read about The BlogFathers. Yes, I know this is Women Walking In Wisdom’s Footsteps; nevertheless, this is a blog for Daddies “changing the way fathers are perceived in the ‘real world.’” One particular post I discovered from this site is entitled “Stories I’ll Tell Forever™” by a first time daddy who’s “making his way through…” at Baby Daddy. It’s an endearing post that I hope you’ll enjoy as much as I did.
Favorite #4 – Finally, if you’re a mother, a father, or someone who has been birthed at all (I think that includes almost everyone), Mamalee at Full Plate shares with her readers those wonderful “Things I Learned From My Mother.” Surely we all have learned these insightful lessons from our mothers. My favorite is #10.
As always, take a look, tell me what you think, and leave lots of comments at these posts!
Yvonne at Grow Your Writing Business recently tagged me for a great meme that, with your feedback, will help me better understand and focus on the folks for whom I write in this blog. The “original” first question of the meme is “To Whom Do You Blog?” Yvonne reworded the question to read “Whom Do I Write For?” because she views blogging “as a collaborative conversation.” I absolutely agree with this point because blogging isn’t (or shouldn’t be) done in a vacuum. If it is, what’s the point? Isn’t that why we crave comments? We love the conversation!
Whom Do I Write For?
When I began blogging, I looked at it as a vehicle to begin my ministry. When I say “ministry,” I’m not talking about preaching in a pulpit. I tried that, actually, and discovered that I’m not a good preacher – because that’s not my gift! One of the things God gifted me to do is teach. So while I was teaching Bible study for a time, I’m now teaching biblical studies at a Christian, college-prep high school.
Nevertheless, I had always known my ministry extended beyond the high school classroom; I just didn’t know in what way. I also know that as a woman who has experienced and grown through lots of pain in my own life that many other women could relate to those experiences. So my “ministry” (blog), while not limited to women, is primarily to women who are (as stated in the “Welcome!” section of my blog) seeking wisdom in the areas primarily of relationships, parenting, personal development, and spiritual growth. Keep in mind that while I am informed by my experiences as well as formal and informal research, I know there are others out there (women and men) who have wisdom to share as well, and my readers want to hear that wisdom (THIS IS A CALL FOR LOTS AND LOTS OF COMMENTS! ).
But to what “genre” of woman do I write? This is an interesting question to me, because there are varieties of women out there. There is the WAHM, the homeschooling mom, the SAHM, the “professional” woman, the Christian woman, the cooking woman, and on and on and on and on. One of the things I do know is that, while I am a mother, I am not inspired to write about any great recipes or journal about my daughter’s daily accomplishments (although I’ll talk about my daughter from time to time). While those activities are important, it’s not my regular cup of tea. Nor am I much of a political pundit (I leave that up to Danielle at Modern Musings), although I have some political views that I think are well-informed.
Moreover, while I am a Christian and my Christian beliefs inform who I am, I don’t feel the need to talk about my Christianity to make a point every day. Therefore, I don’t target my writings to Christian women specifically. I don’t feel comfortable with a primarily Christian audience because I’m not the best Christian myself. I don’t have it all right. I target my writings to women as a whole because Christian or not, women share unique experiences that we, no matter what faith tradition is held, can all learn from.
Furthermore, although I target women, pain and the need for healing and renewal is universal. Women are my target, but a lot of what I discuss can relate to men as well. And with many issues, men can provide interesting perspectives women may not think of. So I absolutely welcome the male voice!
Am I Talking To You?
The second question of this meme can only be answered by you. As you can see, I think I know who I’m writing for, but I could be wrong. I’d like to invite you into this “collaborative conversation.” I’ve included some questions below that will help me understand who my audience really is (not who I claim them to be). I’D LOVE TO KNOW FROM YOU:
- Whom do you think I’m talking to?
- Who are you?
- Why are you here?
- Why do you come back to my blog?
- What do you want to read here?
- What do you think is missing?
- What is the one thing you truly don’t like about this blog?
I’d love to hear your honest feedback. Please – don’t hold back!
This was such a valuable meme! Thanks Yvonne! I’d now like to pass the baton on to Madena at Soul to Soul, Danielle at Modern Musings, Jim at Black in Business, and Camille at Now.
I love books! I am a book hound! I enjoy being in places where I am surrounded by literary works of all types. (That, in fact, is how I met my husband – at Border’s Books in Atlanta, GA). I had the opportunity to spend some time in our high school library today, so I walked to the section where the inspirational collection is housed and discovered a few books I had heard about but had never picked up. One of those books was The World According to Mister Rogers by Fred Rogers, a small book with great, warm, encouraging wisdom.
As a child I seldom watched Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. I thought, in fact, the show was a bit corny. I didn’t get why he would come in the house and take off his coat, only to put on a sweater. I thought he was too soft-spoken. I didn’t care for his songs because they were too slow-paced. And because I couldn’t get past these small details, I never really learned much about what he had to say about “the neighborhood.”
I learned that the material contained in The World According to Mister Rogers was derived from the actual show. One of the “precepts” from the show and included in this gem of a work says,
“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
I want to offer all of you whose blog I’ve visited (and will visit) and to those who have visited mine (who have commented or not), you all have made a great impact on me. I have met many people since I’ve begun this blog, and I’ve learned alot. So if I didn’t learn anything about “the neighborhood” watching Mister Rogers when I was young, I believe I certainly have the opportunity to learn now. Thank you all for all the work you do to encourage, inspire, and help us all grow in new and different ways.
Thanks, all of you, who have moved into “my neighborhood.”
if (has_post_thumbnail()) {
the_post_thumbnail();
}