I don’t normally post about political issues…Hell, let me not start out by apologizing.

Back in the 80s, I was a HUGE MC Hammer fan. I mostly loved his dance and choreography; I used to try to imitate him, and really was successful at times!

I discovered Hammer’s blog, on which was his video “Bring Our Brothers Home.” I found the images to be stirring, a little disturbing (not in a violent way at all). Yet, regardless of your political views on the war in Iraq, I really believe Hammer’s words say it all. Take a look.

If you’re having a problem with the video – like, it doesn’t show up, the link is:

I heard a story about this man.

He was told, “Go…” He was to leave the unfamiliar.

“In leaving the unfamiliar, you will be blessed beyond what you can imagine. Oh, and by the way, because of you, others will be blessed as well.”

So he dared to go. He left the comforts of his homeland. That homeland – where the deer and the antelope play. That homeland – where seldom is heard a discouraging word.

And in the process, this man trusted God…

Sometimes. A little bit.

Except when he put his wife on the block – at least twice – to protect his own interests.

Except when he tried to usurp God’s plan to fulfill the promise He made to the man to bless him.

Really, all he did was live life. Trying the best he could to provide for his family. Trying the best he could to raise his children. He had his favorites, though.

But in all his many imperfections, foibles, and missteps, God still blessed him. Even late in his life.

He demonstrated “great” faith – only once that I know of. Late in his life.

Yet, God didn’t demand perfection.

He just asked him to “Go.” And he went.

As I thought about the wonderful comments that so many of you took the time to share with me over the past few days, I sat here and thought to myself, “I really am in a good place.” I started out uncomfortable not knowing in which direction to go. But here’s what I take away from the story I heard above. I don’t really need to know in which direction to go always. The psalmist said,

“Our steps are made firm by the Lord,
when He delights in our way;
though we stumble, we shall not fall headlong,
for the Lord holds us by the hand.” (Psalm 37:23-24)

(Thank you for the reminder, Blithe.)

I believe that’s what God did for the man in the story. God directed this man where to go. So clearly, God delighted in the man way some kind of way. Even when he stumbled. Even when he made mistakes. Even though he wasn’t perfect. God held him by the hand and ultimately, this man arrived at his destination.

God spoke through your comments. And he said, “It’s okay. Be in that spot. I will show you the way, through your husband, your daughter, your friends, your students, the clouds, the rainbows, the rain… It’s okay. You can just be. For I am holding you with My own hand.”

Thank you for allowing God to bless me through you (you know who you are).

For those of you who’ve been reading my blog the past few days, you know that I’ve been struggling in a place that I don’t feel quite comfortable, a place I’m trying to make sense of. The wonderful readers of my blog gave me some wonderful encouragement and advice, and I’d like to share some of their wisdom, particularly for those who may be feeling as I am, not quite knowing which direction to turn, not quite knowing if the direction taken is the right one, not quite knowing if the road taken is the road one should travel.

Lisa Gates, author of the blog Design Your Writing Life compassionately commented on my post “Unsettledness,” and suggests I answer several questions. I’d like to begin by answering her first two questions as I seek to understand the direction in which I should go:

• What could you learn by staying in the unsettled place for a while?
• What is this unsettling trying to tell you?

I believe it will take a little courage to attempt to stay in this unsettled place as things unfold and clear up for me. I don’t say that arrogantly, as if, “KWiz, you’re so courageous!” It’s my nature to want things to have an explanation. But I’ve seen my husband live not having to explain everything or have everything make sense. In fact, that is what a life of faith is about – letting God have His way. And while, ultimately, He has had His way – which has resulted in so much tremendous goodness in my life – it’s not been easy to let go and let God orchestrate some things in my life. In fact, I’ll crack the door, peek out, and it is through those openings, I believe, God chooses to slip in and work. Why do I believe that? Jesus advised the people of a church that needed stern teaching and discipline in the book of Revelation:

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him…” (Revelation 3:20).

It’s been difficult for me to allow God to be God in my life. Yet, He’s been good, gracious, and generous. I need to trust that God will speak to me in my unsettled space, comfort me in that space, and lead me through and out when it is time.

So in response to Lisa’s question, “What is this unsettling trying to tell you?” I believe it’s trying to tell me to trust that no matter where I am, I am not alone (thank you, Camille). I am not alone in my…

DOUBT.

For some Christians, “doubt” carries connotations of the “4-letter word.” Like questioning God is a sin. I’m perfectly okay with it, though. God’s not struck me down yet. Because I believe it is in the doubt where one asks questions. And it is in the questioning that one gains insight and understanding. To me, to say you can’t or shouldn’t ask questions of God implies a bit of arrogance, and really, I can’t pretend I know a dash about God to say I know enough not to question. But in the less than a dash that I do know, He’s merciful, compassionate, loving. And He knows the doubt I have in my mind and heart. He’s not requiring perfect faith of me – or anyone else for that matter. And for that anyone else who wonders about questioning God, it’s okay. He expects the questions. He wants the questions. Will I always receive the answer I want? HA! Will I receive the answers I need? Most definitely – yes. And going back to the fact that I am not alone, very often, the answers come from the community of which I belong. And at the moment, Lisa, Camille, Anna, The New Parent, Paula, Susan, and last but not least, Manchild, are some of you who are “with me” in my unsettledness. Thank you.

As I’ve had the opportunity to think about these questions, I believe the last question Lisa asks me is very key:

• What if being unsettled is where the divine will meet up with you and show you the way?

I believe God waits for this. And I believe this to be true.

I believe God spoke to me through all of you. Thank you for being gracious vessels.

I hope those of you who are experiencing a similar state will find comfort in reflecting on Lisa’s questions.

School’s out. I’ve got about 10 weeks off. Vacation! You’d think? Rest? Probably not.

Yes, I’m a bit unsettled.

I’m not quite comfortable with where I am right now. I’m about to be a stay-at-home mom for the summer. How in the world do women who do it full-time, all the time, actually do it? During the school year everyday, I drop my daughter off at daycare (which is on the campus of the school where I teach). I teach, discipline (right!), grade papers and tests, attend faculty and departmental meetings, and serve in other functions I’ve assigned myself at the school. Everyday. And when I (and sometimes my husband and I) pick up our daughter, I get to see the wonderful artwork she’s prepared at the hands of her wonderful teacher, get reports on how she never has a potty accident (she has been dry when she wakes up for the past couple of weeks!!!), and watch her run to me screaming because she’s excited to see me everyday when I pick her up after school.

She’s home for the summer. All day. Everyday. What do we do?

Now I not so clueless as not to know. Really. We have story time a couple times a day. I’ve actually decided to lose the 15-20 pounds this summer by taking her with me in the stroller on my walks each morning. But she won’t play with her toys by herself (she is an only child, and there aren’t children her age in the community in which we live, at least not that I’ve identified yet)!!!

So I’ve been researching what type of inexpensive activities are available for a three-year old to partake in. No. Activities I need for her to do outside of the house!!! I’ve got a plan. I may have found a place to take her a few times a week. That might just do it.

So I’m an unsettled mom.

I’m an unsettled teacher. Not particularly satisfied with my teaching this past year. I’ve determined I am going to work over the summer to revise my curricula, prepare in advance (didn’t have a chance to do that last year because I was taking care of my mother before she passed last summer), and be ready when the school year arrives in mid-August. Related to all this, I’ve got to prepare materials for my performance review this fall. Not a good year to do this, since I didn’t have the best of years. But it is giving me an opportunity to reflect a bunch.

I’m an unsettled teacher.

I’ve also decided that I’m going to put together a proposal to publish a supplement for a textbook I use in one of my courses. My first attempt at publishing! But even preparing the proposal seems to be a bit daunting.

I’m an unsettled would-be writer.

Let me not go on, because I’m unsettled in a variety of areas, and it’ll get a bit too personal.

I say all this to say that I’ve not been writing posts because, frankly, I’m unsettled. I’m especially unsettled because I feel my focus is a bit off. My area of specialty is Bible. I study scripture. I teach Old and New Testament. That’s what I do. Yet, I’ve not introduced it much on this blog. Why?

I’m trying to figure that out. I’m not a Bible-thumper. I don’t believe in beating people over the head with it. But I also know that God is real in my life. And I’m currently praying and seeking answers to the unsettledness I feel right now. It’s like I’m not where I’m supposed to be.

And as I read this, the unfocused nature of this post, I see my own unsettledness right before my eyes.

So excuse me as I try to figure it out. Posts will come. But I’m trying to figure out, in my heart, what they’re supposed to be about. What I’m supposed to share. What I am really supposed to communicate here.

Thanks for listening…reading, I should say. Comments are welcomed.

“People wish to be settled: only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Back in the 80s and 90s when I worked in corporate America, I loved to wear beautiful suits.  It was always my intent to purchase suits that I didn’t think I’d see on anyone else at any particular time (living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin).  It’s not that I had goo-gobs of money to spend on one-of-a-kinds; I just prided myself on being a shopper of fine clothing of relatively reasonable value without breaking my wallet too much.

In the late 80s, I was participating in a training class for a large organization I worked for.  When I arrived at the classroom, I took my seat, waiting for the class to begin.  As I looked around, a woman walked in the door of the classroom wearing a beautiful black suit.  I admired it for its intricate detailing and stitching throughout.  I also noticed that the suit looked terrific on her, as it was a well-made suit.  As she walked closer to where I was seated, I made an observation that absolutely made me sick that day – she’s wearing my suit, on the same day I had the same suit on myself!!!  I was absolutely mortified!!!  Really!!!

From that day on, I vowed I’d never wear that suit again.  And I never did.  In a sense, I felt violated.  Of course, the woman wearing the suit didn’t do anything wrong.  She merely had great taste, as I did.  Yet, I felt as though I was being copied.  I felt as though, as writers would say, I was being plagiarized!  There was more than one of me!  And if there was more than one of me, one of those “me’s” was not needed.

How ridiculous, you say?  Yes, ridiculous it is.  Until I can afford to purchase one-of-a-kinds (which I don’t even have a desire to do), there will always be a woman who is wearing those shoes I just purchased yesterday.  There will always be a woman who is wearing that same blouse I bought last week.  There will always be a woman who is wearing that same dress I bought last month.  And I might even personally see that woman donning those shoes, that blouse, that dress.  And get this…she might even look better in those pants than I do (which, at the moment, is entirely possible given the 15 pounds I need to drop).

Yet, I no longer have this feeling that I’m being copied, that I’m no longer unique when I see someone sporting “my” clothes.  After a fire consumed all of my belongings while I was attending graduate school in the early 90s, I had to learn to shop differently to regain a small portion of what I’d lost and to try to rebuild (after not having renter’s insurance).  And I wanted the same stuff I had before.  Nevertheless, I couldn’t afford to pour out the same amount of money as I did before I entered graduate school.  So I found discount shops and outlets (Loehmann’s, T.J. Maxx, Marshall’s, Filene’s Basement, and now, Value City), which means that I will someday see another woman in my clothes, on the exact day I’m donning the same outfit.

Does that mean that I’m no longer unique?  Absolutely not!

The outer garments does not a sistah make!

It’s what’s inside that makes all of us unique.  It’s what God has blessed us with that makes us one-of-a-kind.  I am guaranteed that there is no one like me on this earth (that should be a relief for my husband), and that no matter what I wear, I have gifts and talents the world needs.  I’m just trying to figure out what the world needs and how I can get it out there.

Ladies, has this ever happened to you?  Have you ever felt like you’re a carbon copy and therefore, that you’re not needed?

Let me reassure you – it’s a lie!  Don’t believe it!

What makes me unique?

• I have three degrees that I can probably use virtually anywhere, if I put my mind to it.
• I can tell funny stories of how I walked into a brick wall when I was in elementary school and broke my front tooth.
• I’ve only had one cavity in my entire life, and I didn’t get it until I was 21 years old!
• I look young for my age.
• I’ve never gotten a job by sending out resumes.
• I spent 12 weeks on hospital bedrest during my pregnancy and only gained 37 pounds.
• I have the most wonderful daughter and most loving, caring, gifted husband in the whole wide world!

All of these experiences inform who I am.  And no one, absolutely no one, has experienced what I’ve experienced collectively.  Together, these experiences make me one unique woman.  And no one can take that away.

I’d like to know, what makes you unique?

Today is the first Mother’s Day I will not be celebrating with my Mommy. She passed away last July 26th of cancer at 77. I miss her so much.

Since my mom passed, what most often entered my mind about her is her final days. I frequently think about the pain she endured – in her body and in her mind. Her mind was literally painful to her as she experienced much paranoia and confusion those final weeks. I was with her in the hospital every morning, sometimes in the afternoons, trying to communicate with her as I saw her body go through the stages of shutting down, preparing for transition. And then, I watched her take her last breath. Watched her pass away from me. These thoughts stay with me – I run through them daily.

Yet, I think it’s time for me to consciously think about the fun times I had with my mom and the good qualities she possessed.

• My mom was feisty! While she was only 5’2″ tall, she could take on anyone, even when she was 60 years old! Literally. (One of her older brothers was an amateur boxer back in the day, and she hung out with him when she was in her heyday!)
• My mom was generous. If you were a friend or family member in need, she’d find a way to meet that need.
• My mom was creative! She made the prettiest dresses for me when I was in high school. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t cute!
• My mom loved me intensely. She always told the story of how I was a “love baby.” In other words, I was conceived in mad lust!
• My mom was caring. She was an L.P.N. and worked primarily in small nursing homes. When I was living at home, she’d frequently tell stories of her nursing home “escapades,” making whoever was listening to her stories crack up intensely and wish they were present for the action.
• My mom was the life of every party! She was the loudest, funniest person present in a room, and once you discovered her, you couldn’t help but to hang out with her. While I’m biased, that’s what other people tell me too!
• My mom loved her grandchildren. She had four – the oldest is 25, the youngest is going on 3 (my daughter). Oh, how I wished my mom could’ve been with my daughter much more than we could see her.
• My mom loved to be different – on purpose!

There is so much more that I could talk about. Yet, I won’t. Thank you for indulging me and allowing me to align my thoughts about my mother in a more positive direction.

Now, before I leave y’all, I have a request. If your mother is still living, and you haven’t spoken to her because of some conflict – real or imagined – I’m going to say to you – GET OVER IT!!! Your mother is the ONLY mother you’ll ever have. She gave birth to you. She endured a broken heart because of you more times than you can probably think of. She loved you when you were unloveable. She prayed for you. She thought good thoughts about you. She did the best she could with you.

And if you think she hasn’t done these things – it doesn’t matter. Call you mother TODAY and tell her how much she means to you.

And if you think she doesn’t mean much to you – well, call her anyway and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. She’s waiting to hear from you.

I know the topic I’m about to broach is sensitive. For Christians, at least. And for others, it may be mildly amusing. Yet, it’s something that has bothered me for a few years now, and it really just sort of came to a head this evening (I started this post Thursday evening, May 10th) as I watched Tammy Faye Bakker Messner on “Entertainment Tonight” comment on the colon cancer she’s been battling now for several years.

For those of you who don’t know, Tammy Faye Bakker Messner, along with her then-husband Jim, were popular televangelists with a large media empire that, according to Reuters, “brought in close to an estimated $130 million annually at its height in the 1980s and reached 13 million homes daily.” Yet, as Reuters reports, “It all came crashing down amid sex and financial scandals that landed Jim in prison for five years. Tammy Faye divorced Jim and married his best friend.”

Sadly, Tammy Faye was diagnosed with colon cancer in 1996. In 2004, she disclosed that she was cancer free; however, the cancer returned the same year, this time in her lungs. “Entertainment Tonight” reported that she remarked, “‘The doctors have stopped trying to treat the cancer and so now it’s up to God and my faith,’ she writes [on her website]. ‘Please continue to pray for the pain and sick stomach.’” And yes, I pray that God will alleviate her pain so and sick stomach. I pray that she not suffer anymore.

What really upset me is that she blamed the fact that she has cancer on the devil. It’s the devil that’s making her sick, and she, as a Christian, is not going to let the devil win this battle.

Her statement is related to the popular doctrine (in some Christian “circles”) that asserts if you’re “faithful,” you are immune from sickness, disease, financial difficulties, and hardship. According to this belief, referred to as “The Prosperity Gospel” or “Name It And Claim It,” illness and other hardships are not of God. And if they’re not of God, they’re from the devil (or you’ve been in some way unfaithful to God, which opens the door to the devil to do his dirty work in your life). And because Christians (who espouse this doctrine) have “authority” over God’s creation and the devil, they can pray for whatever they want (according to Mark 11:23-24 and other taken-out-of-context scripture passages) and it will be given to them. And so what adherents of this “gospel” teach is that if you’re sick, pray and have enough faith and God will heal you. Take authority over the devil, because “[God has] given you authority to tread on snakes and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy; and nothing will hurt you” (Luke 10:19). Therefore, if God doesn’t heal you, it’s because you don’t have enough faith.

Essentially, what preachers of this “gospel” have done is taken several scripture passages way out of context to develop a teaching that tickles the ears and makes people feel good.

The problem with this doctrine is that it is so very false! God, nor Jesus, never taught that Christians would never endure hardship. For example, the author of the book of Job discusses this issue at length – it’s referred to as theodicy, which asks the question, “why do the righteous suffer?” If you’re unfamiliar with the story, Job is a righteous man who walks in the ways of God. Ha-Satan (the Accuser) approaches God and asks the question, “Will Job serve God for nothing? Doesn’t he only serve You because You’ve blessed him?” God tells the Accuser that he can test Job to see if, indeed, Job will only serve God because God’s blessed him. The Accuser kills Job’s children, destroys his possessions, and afflicts him with boils from head to toe. In most of the remainder of the book, Job and his “friends” try to make sense of Job’s suffering.

In Job 38-41, as God finally addresses Job and his question of “why am I suffering when I’ve done nothing wrong?” we find that the question of theodicy is not answered. As Job has asserted his innocence throughout the book, he seeks answers about his adversity, complaining to God, “I cry to you and you do not answer me; I stand, and you merely look at me” (Job 30:20). Yet, God does not answer the question. No one knows why the righteous suffer.

And yet, they do. The Bible records many who have. Some preachers forget about these key figures. God made them promises, yet, they did not live to see the fulfillment of those promises. And these people had great faith. Check out what the author of Hebrews 11 says about these faithful people:

…By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned. By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days. By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient. And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated-the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. (Hebrews 11:29-40, emphasis mine)

And so, you ask, what is my issue? My mother passed away last summer from living with lung cancer for over six years. And I know for a fact that it was not the devil’s doing. Nor was it an issue that she wasn’t healed because she didn’t have enough faith.

In fact, Melissa J at families.com so eloquently addresses this issue in her post, “Name It and Claim It a.k.a. Prosperity Gospel.” In response to her post, Valerie Delp commented,

“I have a dear friend who is critically ill. . .she will struggle with her sickness for the rest of her life and will continue to deteriorate physically. She has chosen to believe in the ‘prosperity gospel’ and decided that if she truly has faith she would choose to give up her walking cane (which she needed to walk) as well as refuse normal medical treatment (or even alternative treatments). Sadly, as a result of her decisions, she has caused her own deterioration to speed up…”

Please understand, I am not coming down on Tammy Faye Bakker Messner. What I am protesting is the fact that people who are seriously and gravely ill (and people who know people who are seriously and gravely ill) are espousing this doctrine as truth. What happens is that when they don’t receive their bodily healing, they and others conclude they didn’t have enough faith to take authority over the devil and the disease. This is erroneous. This is wrong. It is more than a travesty. It is heretical. And it puts God, Jesus, and Christians in a bad light.

This post is longer than I’ve wanted it to be, yet, it is so very important. I will conclude it tomorrow.

In the meantime, what do you think of the prosperity “gospel”? What do you think about people who believe that their faith will cure them of sickness and disease?

(Please pray for Tammy Faye Bakker Messner.)

(If you are new here and you are interested in this study, please page down to the “Article Series” link below, or “Women Who Run With The Wolves” in the Category section in the sidebar to the right to view previous reflections.)

The Women Who Run With the Wolves series is back!

Finding That Intuition (Part 3)

As stated in the last post in this series, Vasalisa, the tale from which this analysis comes,

“…is a story of handing down the blessing on women’s power of intuition from mother to daughter, from one generation to the next. This great power, intuition, is composed of lightning-fast inner seeing, inner hearing, inner sensing, and inner knowing.”

And as I stated as we proceeded through the week’s study,

“[Chapter 3 - Nosing Out the Facts: The Retrieval of Intuition as Initiation of Women Who Run With the Wolves] consists of nine tasks for women to complete to regain the intuitive nature, to regain the ability and “skill” to reset that instinctual power that enables us to walk through life with clear thinking and powerful knowing of not only what’s inside, but what’s outside as well.”

We examined the first three tasks in that last post. Let’s move forward and take a look at the next three tasks.

Task #4 – Facing the Wild Hag – The activities which must be taken on in this stage include:

“Learning to face great power – in others, and subsequently one’s own power.”

Remember that there is a “Baba Yaga” character that is central to this tale. She is, as Estes says, the “Wild Hag,” which sounds like a pejorative, yet, it carries the meaning of being wise and having “joyous and wild life force.” It is the opposite of that which “creeps up on us till we have a routine life, and a lifeless life without our really meaning to.”

Once women realize they are living in the mundane, the mediocre, it is time to recover. It is time to recover and face the formidable power within oneself that causes us to be “alive, bursting with enthusiasm, with joyous life.” What does this all mean? To tell you the truth, I can’t put my finger on this one. I don’t know how this would manifest itself in my own life. Dr. Estes summarizes this task by stating,

“It means to be able to learn, to be able to stand what we know. It means to stand and live.”

Yet, that statement is elusive to me. Someone out there, please give me a clue!

Task #5 – Serving the Non-Rational – In this stage, the following activities are important (but check the chapter to get a complete listing):

“…Coming to recognize her (your) power and the powers of inner purifications; unsoiling, sorting, nourishing, building energy and ideas…”

What is involved in this task is the “ordering of the house of the soul.” There are three things involved here:

• Washing the laundry – in other words, learning to “witness, examine, and take on” that which is strong and enduring.
• Sweeping the premises – keeping one’s space uncluttered and working to ensure that we complete what we starts. This involves the consistent ordering of one’s life.
• Cooking for Baba Yaga – feeding the wild woman inside. This involves cooking up the new and original, creating great ideas, nurturing and exploring our yearnings and longings, burning with the desire of those things we truly love.

Remember, though, the key to “succeeding” in these activities is consistency. We must regularly “cleanse our thinking” and “renew our values” so that we will learn to “measure things at a glance…, weigh in an instant…, clear off the debris around an idea…, clear one’s psyche of trivia, sweep one’s self, [and] clean up one’s thinking and feeling states…”

Task #6 – Separating This from That – some of the activities necessary in this stage include:

“…learning to make fine distinctions in judgment. Observing the power of the unconscious and how it works even when the ego is not aware…”

Dr. Estes indicates,

“The sorting spoken of in the tale is the kind which occurs when we face a dilemma or question, but not much is forthcoming to help us solve it. But leave it alone and come back to it later and there may be a good answer waiting for us where there was nothing before. Or ‘go to sleep, see what you dream…’”

How do we see this type of activity manifest itself? Estes says, “It is an observable phenomenon that a question asked before bedtime, with practice, often elicits an answer upon awakening…Reliance on this attribute is…part of the wild nature.”

Or as the psalmist puts it,

“I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.” (Psalm 16:7)

I’ve heard how people will pray for direction about an issue before they enter sleep at night, and will wake up with a solution to the issue. I can’t say this has ever happened to me, but as Dr. Estes notes, this type of guidance can happen to a person when someone is consistent to practice seeking this guidance. Maybe that is why it doesn’t “work” for me. I’ve not been consistent in seeking the help I need daily.

I struggle with much of what these tasks entail. First, the fourth task I mentioned above is a little confusing for me, so if someone can shed some light on that, please do (phaenix_ash, can you help me here?). I know I need to work on uncluttering and organizing myself so that I will feel less muddled and messy. And I know I need to work on seeking guidance consistently, daily, to learn how to listen to myself (and for me, this is God and what He gives to me) when I encounter problems and situations with which I need help.

What about you? What do you need to work on in order to continue reclaiming yourself?

We’ll complete the final tasks next week so that we can move on to the next chapter. I’m excited about the next chapter, because in it we move beyond our individual selves and begin talking about our relationships with men and how men can understand women and their inner lives.

My daughter will be 3 years old on May 20th. I am so excited! I see her personality developing each day, her sense of independence, her vocabulary – it’s so incredibly amazing!

My husband and I try to teach our daughter how to make good choices. Even though she is (and will be) an only child, we refuse to allow her to grow up being a spoiled brat. I don’t think it is proper for a child to get everything under the sun just to get her to do what she should do, or learn how to do.

We also teach her how valuable she is. As a Black girl, she will encounter ignorance in her lifetime, most likely sooner rather than later (I know – both my husband and I experienced it at a young age), because while we are more aware of diversity in our society, we’ve not arrived. So we teach her how great she is because there will be those who will disrespect her and try to impose their ignorance upon her. She will know the truth so she can learn to handle the disrespect. I’m not trying to be negative here; I’m a realist, though. Could I be wrong, though? I hope so.

When children don’t learn how to respect others for their differences, terrible things can happen. We saw evidence of that recently with the killings at Virginia Tech. Please understand, this is not another post about that incident. It was (and still is) an important moment in our history – no doubt. I don’t wish to rehash it. Nevertheless, it’s so important for each of us to understand the importance of respecting others. And it’s incredibly important for parents to teach their children how to respect others. We can see what happens when 1) children are disrespected over their lifetime, and 2) when children aren’t taught to handle the pain which happens as a result of disrespect. And unfortunately, I see everyday that many children aren’t learning these important lessons.

Nevertheless, Gayla McCord at Supernanny Rules offered a poignant post a few weeks ago entitled “Things We Should Teach Our Children” that you absolutely must read (I’m just now getting caught up on my comments and reading). Please read Gayla’s post. She stresses the importance of teaching our children to respect others. And when you read it, please share it with others.

Thank you, Gayla, for sharing your heart.