Today is the first Mother’s Day I will not be celebrating with my Mommy. She passed away last July 26th of cancer at 77. I miss her so much.
Since my mom passed, what most often entered my mind about her is her final days. I frequently think about the pain she endured – in her body and in her mind. Her mind was literally painful to her as she experienced much paranoia and confusion those final weeks. I was with her in the hospital every morning, sometimes in the afternoons, trying to communicate with her as I saw her body go through the stages of shutting down, preparing for transition. And then, I watched her take her last breath. Watched her pass away from me. These thoughts stay with me – I run through them daily.
Yet, I think it’s time for me to consciously think about the fun times I had with my mom and the good qualities she possessed.
- My mom was feisty! While she was only 5’2″ tall, she could take on anyone, even when she was 60 years old! Literally. (One of her older brothers was an amateur boxer back in the day, and she hung out with him when she was in her heyday!)
- My mom was generous. If you were a friend or family member in need, she’d find a way to meet that need.
- My mom was creative! She made the prettiest dresses for me when I was in high school. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t cute!
- My mom loved me intensely. She always told the story of how I was a “love baby.” In other words, I was conceived in mad lust!
- My mom was caring. She was an L.P.N. and worked primarily in small nursing homes. When I was living at home, she’d frequently tell stories of her nursing home “escapades,” making whoever was listening to her stories crack up intensely and wish they were present for the action.
- My mom was the life of every party! She was the loudest, funniest person present in a room, and once you discovered her, you couldn’t help but to hang out with her. While I’m biased, that’s what other people tell me too!
- My mom loved her grandchildren. She had four – the oldest is 25, the youngest is going on 3 (my daughter). Oh, how I wished my mom could’ve been with my daughter much more than we could see her.
- My mom loved to be different – on purpose!
There is so much more that I could talk about. Yet, I won’t. Thank you for indulging me and allowing me to align my thoughts about my mother in a more positive direction.
Now, before I leave y’all, I have a request. If your mother is still living, and you haven’t spoken to her because of some conflict – real or imagined – I’m going to say to you – GET OVER IT!!! Your mother is the ONLY mother you’ll ever have. She gave birth to you. She endured a broken heart because of you more times than you can probably think of. She loved you when you were unloveable. She prayed for you. She thought good thoughts about you. She did the best she could with you.
And if you think she hasn’t done these things – it doesn’t matter. Call you mother TODAY and tell her how much she means to you.
And if you think she doesn’t mean much to you – well, call her anyway and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. She’s waiting to hear from you.