My husband used to call me “My Dream Come True.” After almost six years of marriage, he now has another name for me…
My husband thinks that I am 99.9% better than all the other women out there in the world! This is incredible to me, because while we have had some good times, it’s been very difficult alot of the time. He even wrote about it on his blog, “When Least Expected™. (Of course, I’ve got to give my husband some link love, you know.) Before you say, “She sure is self-aggrandizing and self-absorbed,” I have to tell you a couple of things that precipitated me writing about this.
First, I read a post at “Crunchy Carpets” (I love that name and what it represents!) today entitled “What’s going on with men and women these days?” Read the entire entry, but for our purposes I want you to focus on the first half of her post and the indented quotation spoken by a woman (not Crunchy Carpets!) against her husband (please go there if you haven’t yet). To summarize, she works all day while her husband stays home with the baby, and when she comes home, the house is a mess. The quote concludes by her ranting,
“He was home all day—couldn’t he at least run a freaking load of laundry?”
Crunchy Carpets responds by saying:
“…this a very sad example of what a relationship is supposed to be about. The narcissism and selfishness appall me.”
Her comment gave me pause. I had to stop and think about what she was saying. That leads to the second thing that precipated this post.
I am a teacher. My husband is a writer (which is one reason why he started his blog – to work some things out in the process of him publishing his book soon), speaker, poet, photographer, and general and all-around fix-it man. After we had our daughter, when my summer vacation was over, my husband stayed at home with her for three months while I went to work. And while I came home sometimes to a cluttered home, it didn’t matter; he was taking great care of our little girl.
However (and this is the second thing that precipitated this post), I have had many lapses, train wrecks, and brain farts. My husband works from home. On my way to school, I drop off our daughter at the daycare (which is on the campus where I work). While I don’t get on him about the house, I will complain about other stuff, mainly the car (he knows everything about a VW Passat GLX VR6!) or anything else that needs fixing. Brakes, tune-up, oil change, water pump (now that’s particularly difficult to do by yourself on a Passat!) – we have needed it all done. But my husband is one man (and at the moment, our budget is tight, so we do what we can). He’s getting some things off the ground with regard to his business. And I need to trust him that he’s letting God lead him and let him do his thing, even when it’s hard. Even when our lives don’t seem to be the way I think they should be (based upon our ages, education, children, etc.). Even when we are looking at each other sideways.
So while we have a long way to go, my husband and I are learning how to be together, in spite of the difficulty. And I was reminded today by Crunchy Carpets of the incredible, priceless value my husband brings to our relationship. Thank you, Crunchy Carpets!
In spite of what is going on around you, in spite of your circumstances (other than abuse), what value does your husband brings to your relationship (really think about this)? What can we do to keep that impression at the forefront of our minds and hearts? Should we be asking other questions? Or am I way off?