The Women Who Run With the Wolves series is back!

Finding That Intuition (Part 3)

As stated in the last post in this series, Vasalisa, the tale from which this analysis comes,

“…is a story of handing down the blessing on women’s power of intuition from mother to daughter, from one generation to the next. This great power, intuition, is composed of lightning-fast inner seeing, inner hearing, inner sensing, and inner knowing.”

And as I stated as we proceeded through the week’s study,

“[Chapter 3 - Nosing Out the Facts: The Retrieval of Intuition as Initiation of Women Who Run With the Wolves] consists of nine tasks for women to complete to regain the intuitive nature, to regain the ability and “skill” to reset that instinctual power that enables us to walk through life with clear thinking and powerful knowing of not only what’s inside, but what’s outside as well.”

We examined the first three tasks in that last post. Let’s move forward and take a look at the next three tasks.

Task #4 – Facing the Wild Hag – The activities which must be taken on in this stage include:

“Learning to face great power – in others, and subsequently one’s own power.”

Remember that there is a “Baba Yaga” character that is central to this tale. She is, as Estes says, the “Wild Hag,” which sounds like a pejorative, yet, it carries the meaning of being wise and having “joyous and wild life force.” It is the opposite of that which “creeps up on us till we have a routine life, and a lifeless life without our really meaning to.”

Once women realize they are living in the mundane, the mediocre, it is time to recover. It is time to recover and face the formidable power within oneself that causes us to be “alive, bursting with enthusiasm, with joyous life.” What does this all mean? To tell you the truth, I can’t put my finger on this one. I don’t know how this would manifest itself in my own life. Dr. Estes summarizes this task by stating,

“It means to be able to learn, to be able to stand what we know. It means to stand and live.”

Yet, that statement is elusive to me. Someone out there, please give me a clue!

Task #5 – Serving the Non-Rational – In this stage, the following activities are important (but check the chapter to get a complete listing):

“…Coming to recognize her (your) power and the powers of inner purifications; unsoiling, sorting, nourishing, building energy and ideas…”

What is involved in this task is the “ordering of the house of the soul.” There are three things involved here:

• Washing the laundry – in other words, learning to “witness, examine, and take on” that which is strong and enduring.
• Sweeping the premises – keeping one’s space uncluttered and working to ensure that we complete what we starts. This involves the consistent ordering of one’s life.
• Cooking for Baba Yaga – feeding the wild woman inside. This involves cooking up the new and original, creating great ideas, nurturing and exploring our yearnings and longings, burning with the desire of those things we truly love.

Remember, though, the key to “succeeding” in these activities is consistency. We must regularly “cleanse our thinking” and “renew our values” so that we will learn to “measure things at a glance…, weigh in an instant…, clear off the debris around an idea…, clear one’s psyche of trivia, sweep one’s self, [and] clean up one’s thinking and feeling states…”

Task #6 – Separating This from That – some of the activities necessary in this stage include:

“…learning to make fine distinctions in judgment. Observing the power of the unconscious and how it works even when the ego is not aware…”

Dr. Estes indicates,

“The sorting spoken of in the tale is the kind which occurs when we face a dilemma or question, but not much is forthcoming to help us solve it. But leave it alone and come back to it later and there may be a good answer waiting for us where there was nothing before. Or ‘go to sleep, see what you dream…’”

How do we see this type of activity manifest itself? Estes says, “It is an observable phenomenon that a question asked before bedtime, with practice, often elicits an answer upon awakening…Reliance on this attribute is…part of the wild nature.”

Or as the psalmist puts it,

“I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.” (Psalm 16:7)

I’ve heard how people will pray for direction about an issue before they enter sleep at night, and will wake up with a solution to the issue. I can’t say this has ever happened to me, but as Dr. Estes notes, this type of guidance can happen to a person when someone is consistent to practice seeking this guidance. Maybe that is why it doesn’t “work” for me. I’ve not been consistent in seeking the help I need daily.

I struggle with much of what these tasks entail. First, the fourth task I mentioned above is a little confusing for me, so if someone can shed some light on that, please do (phaenix_ash, can you help me here?). I know I need to work on uncluttering and organizing myself so that I will feel less muddled and messy. And I know I need to work on seeking guidance consistently, daily, to learn how to listen to myself (and for me, this is God and what He gives to me) when I encounter problems and situations with which I need help.

What about you? What do you need to work on in order to continue reclaiming yourself?

We’ll complete the final tasks next week so that we can move on to the next chapter. I’m excited about the next chapter, because in it we move beyond our individual selves and begin talking about our relationships with men and how men can understand women and their inner lives.

According to Clarissa Pinkola Estes, intuition represents

“the voice of inner reason, inner knowing, and inner consciousness…It is our helper which is not seeable…but which is always accessible…

“Intuition senses the directions to go in for most benefit…It has claws that pry things open and pin things down, it has eyes that can see through the shields of persona, it has ears that hear beyond the range of mundane human hearing…”

Malcolm Gladwell, author of Blink, asserts that that which is intuition (he doesn’t actually use the word in Blink) is

“…rapid cognition, the kind of thinking that happens in a blink of an eye. When you meet someone for the first time, or walk into a house you are thinking of buying, or read the first few sentences of a book, your mind takes about two seconds to jump to a series of conclusions…[in] those two seconds…those instant conclusions that we reach are really powerful and really important and, occasionally, really good.”

And in spite of the emphasis on “women’s intuition,” men, according to Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D., of Think Positive! Blog, have intuition as well. She says,

“We all have intuitive potential. We can all develop our intuition with some patience and practice. Intuition is what I like to call whispers from the soul. It is our ability to connect with our internal wisdom… our essential spirit. Intuition is our ability to connect with the Universal wisdom… the source of infinite possibilities. This is not something that is limited to women or to certain “gifted” people. Everyone is intuitive… I would like to suggest that we put the term ‘women’s intuition’ to rest and just call it intuition.”

I’m all for that.

Nevertheless, it is with this intuition that people make split second (or two-second, as Gladwell states in Blink) decisions. And it is with this intuition that a little girl was saved from a sexual predator back in January 2006. According to CBS News,

“Headed home after a long trip, [Tracie] Dean stopped at an Alabama convenience store where she met a little girl who seemed frightened by the man taking care of her. When Dean left the gas station, she just had a hunch about that little girl; something didn’t seem right. (emphasis mine) Dean jotted down the man’s license plate number. For days she struggled to confirm her suspicions that this was the case of a missing child. Finally, four days later, there was a break.”

Where did that hunch come from? For Tracie Dean,

“It was a God thing…”

CBS News further reports,

“Dean’s instinct (emphasis mine) and perseverance helped turn up evidence that led to the arrest of Jack Wiley and Glenna Faye Cavender, who were charged with rape and child abuse of the little girl, who had looked so scared, and abuse of her 17-year-old brother.”

Instinct. Intuition. Hunch. That which does or doesn’t seem right. Sixth sense. All expressions used for that inner voice that tells us which way to go, what to do. And in this case, Dean listened to some inner knowing that happened instantaneously and reached a powerful and life-saving conclusion that saved the life of not just a beautiful little girl, but her 17-year old brother as well. Let us all gain the power to use that which is within to do tremendous good in the world around us.

For me, God is the source of my intuition. I am determined to practice using it so that I can feel comfortable that when it is time for me to make split second decisions, I will feel that I will do what is right for that moment, for that circumstance.

Thank you, God, for the power to make good decisions “in the blink of an eye.”

Finding That Intuition (Part 2)

As I stated in the last article in this series, “Oh, how I’ve been waiting to get to this place!” Please click here if you haven’t read the story of Vasalisa (upon which this chapter is based).

I found this story to be very sweet, yet complexingly strong and slightly intimidating. After the conclusion of the story of Vasalisa, Dr. Estes begins her analysis saying,

“Vasalisa is a story of handing down the blessing on women’s power of intuition from mother to daughter, from one generation to the next. This great power, intuition, is composed of lightning-fast inner seeing, inner hearing, inner sensing, and inner knowing.”

The analysis of this tale is very straightforward, very easy to understand. It consists of nine tasks for women to complete to regain the intuitive nature, to regain the ability and “skill” to reset that instinctual power that enables us to walk through life with clear thinking and powerful knowing of not only what’s inside, but what’s outside as well. In this post, we’ll take a look at the first five of those tasks. We’ll complete this chapter’s study by completing the remaining four tasks next week.

Task #1 – Allowing the Too-Good Mother to Die – The activities which must be taken on in this stage include:

“Accepting that the ever-watchful, hovering, protective psychic mother is not adequate as a central guide for one’s future instinctual life…Taking on the task of being one’s own, developing one’s own consciousness about danger, intrigue, politic. Becoming alert by oneself, for oneself. Letting die what must die…”

In this first stage of reclaiming one’s intuition, we, as females, must grow up. We must grow more astute, more aware, viewing the world with our eyes wide-open instead of our mothers doing it for us. This is the ideal for all young girls moving into adolescence. Nevertheless, this growth process may not have occurred for some girls because of:

• Psychological hardship early in one’s life
• Continuing influence from the overprotective mother
• Not enough of the mother’s good influence

I know early in my own life, I didn’t get a sense of who I really was from my parents. I didn’t get the sense that I was pretty enough or good enough. That’s not to say my parents didn’t love me; but they really didn’t have a good sense of who they, themselves, were as human beings. So I wasn’t affirmed as a beautiful, smart young lady who didn’t have to settle for hound dogs. Moreover, my mother (father too) didn’t teach me how to make good decisions. Although she always bragged on me to her friends about how nice I was, the only advice my mother gave me regarding how to make decisions was “Just don’t get pregnant.” The decision to make there was to eventually start birth control. But what did that decision do for me? No, I didn’t get pregnant. But that wasn’t the point. What was I supposed to look for in boys? How were they supposed to treat me? How was I supposed to act in their presence? I’m not making excuses here; I’m just saying that I understand how this process of intuition development can be stunted and arrested – it was in me. (This will NOT happen to my daughter.)

Nevertheless, it is necessary for women “to let die the values and attitudes within the psyche which no longer sustain her. Especially to be examined are those long-held tenets which make life too safe, which overprotect, which make women walk with a scurry instead of a stride.” As women, we must

“…set for (ourselves) a something in life that (we) are willing to reach for and therefore take risks for. It is through this process that (we) sharpen (our) intuitive powers.”

Task #2 – Exposing the Crude Shadow – In this stage, the following activities are important (but check the chapter to get a complete listing):

“…Experiencing directly one’s own shadow nature, particularly the exclusionary, jealous, and exploitative aspects of self [and] [a]cknowledging these unequivocally. Making the best relationship one can with the worst parts of oneself…Ultimately working toward letting the old self die and the new intuitive self be born.”

This task is related to the role of the stepmother and stepsisters in the story. In this stage of initiation of the intuitive life, these “family members” represent

“…aspects of oneself which are considered by the ego to be undesirable or not useful and are therefore relegated to the dark…They enter as a chorus of unredeemed hags who taunt, ‘You can’t do it. You’re not good enough. You’re not bold enough. You’re stupid, insipid, vacant. You don’t have time. You’re only good for simple things. You’re only allowed to do this much and no more. Give up while you’re ahead.’”

Oh, this so resonates with me. But what really hit a nerve in the story was the father’s response to the stepmother and stepsisters’ ill-will toward his daughter – NOTHING! As Dr. Estes notes, “…the father of the psyche doesn’t notice the hostile environment…and has no intuitive development himself.” I know all about this – my father is highly naive, and as Dr. Estes remarks,

“It is interesting to note that daughters who have naive fathers often take far longer to awaken.”

I’ve suffered the consequences of having a father who didn’t teach me what I know my husband is intent on teaching our daughter. If there are any men and fathers reading this post, please, please, please,

FATHERS, PLEASE DON’T CRIPPLE YOUR DAUGHTERS BY REMAINING NAIVE AND UNKNOWING. TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTERS, TEACH YOUR DAUGHTERS, LOVE YOUR DAUGHTERS BY TELLING THEM THE TRUTH!!!

In spite of her stepmother’s and stepsisters’ ill-intent, Vasalisa tries her best to remain nice and accomodating. She submits and complies to their requests in the midst of their oppression of her. After awhile,

“the stepwomen so squeeze the burgeoning psyche that through their machinations the fire goes out. At this point a woman begins to lose her psychic bearings. She may feel cold, alone, and willing to do anything to bring back the light again…Vasalisa, like us, needs some guiding light that will differentiate for her what is good for her and what is not…Women who try to make their deeper feelings invisible are deadening themselves. The fire goes out…”

But for many,

“…when the fire is put out, it helps to snap Vasalisa out of her submission. It causes her to die to an old way of life and to step with shivers into a new life, one which is based on an older, wiser kind of inner knowing.”

I’m there! I’m with her! So now, on to the next task…

Task #3 – Navigating in the Dark – some of the activities necessary in this stage include:

“Learning to develop sensitivity as regards direction to the mysterious unconscious and relying solely on one’s inner senses…Learning to feed intuition…”

Before she died, Vasalisa’s mother passed on to Vasalisa a doll (you’ve got to read the story!). This doll represents “the inner spirit of us as women; the voice of inner reason, inner knowing, inner consciousness…It is our helper which is not seeable, per se, but which is always accessible.” And according to Dr. Estes, this is so important for daughters as,

“There is no greater blessing a mother can give her daughter than a reliable sense of the veracity of her own intuition. Intuition is handed from parent to child in the simplest ways: ‘You have good judgment. What do you think lies hidden behind all this?’”

This statement was revelatory to me. My parents didn’t do this for me; yet, my husband and I do this for our daughter when we say, “You make good choices” when she actually does, or just in the course of our daily activities.

But intuition must be fed. And how do we feed our intuition?

“…[B]y listening to it and acting upon its advice…it is like the muscles in the body. If a muscle is not used, eventually it withers. Intuition is exactly like that: without food, without employment, it atrophies…but with exercise it will come back and become fully manifested.”

“We, like Vasalisa, strengthen our bond with our intuitive nature by listening inwardly at every turn in the road. ‘Should I go this way, or this way? Should I stay or go? Should I resist or be flexible? Should I run away or toward? Is this person, event, venture true or false?’”

Well, we’ve taken a lot in with the first three tasks. This post is longer than I intended in examining the first three tasks. So instead of reviewing the first five tasks, I’m going to cut it off here for this week. I think there is much to reflect upon here, and so I’d like to continue to do over the next several days. Next week, we’ll examine the next three tasks (if you’ve been reading along in the book, you know what the tasks are; if not, you’ll have to get the book or just wait!!!) in reclaiming our intuition.

What do you think? Where are you in your reclamation process? Have you made it? Have you arrived? If so, let us know how you did it. If you’re still on the journey, share with us how you’re making it along the way.

Finding That Intuition

Oh, how I’ve been waiting to get to this place! Chapter 3 of Women Who Run With The Wolves, “Nosing Out the Facts: The Retrieval of Intuition as Initiation,” has been eye-opening for me. It has clarified why I so desire to walk in wisdom each day. It might seem to be second-nature to some of you; nevertheless, I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way – to be on a quest for something of such incredible value which at times seems to be elusive.

Dr. Estes puts it this way:

“Intuition is the treasure of a woman’s psyche. It is like a divining instrument and like a crystal through which one can see with uncanny interior vision. It is like a wise old woman who is with you always, who tells you exactly what the matter is, tells you exactly whether you need to go left or right.“

I mentioned above that it seems like this intuition has been elusive to me. It’s not like I’ve not “heard” my soul speaking to me. It’s that I’ve not given it my attention way more often than I’d like to admit. And we know if we don’t pay attention to a thing, that thing (whether a man, woman, child, dog, cat, etc.) eventually relegates itself to the outer banks. It’s like I’ve given my most long-time, bestest friend the cold-shoulder for way too long. I want her back.

What’s great is that she wants to come back to me! And I’m open, ready. To make way for her, Dr. Estes introduces the story of Vasalisa, “…a woman’s initiation story…about the realization that most things are not as they seem.” It’s sort of a “sweet-and-sour” story, but to me, quite endearing. If you don’t yet have Women Who Run With The Wolves, you can read the story here (the story appears on several pages on this site; lots of interesting illustrations with it).

What I’d like to do is read Vasalisa this week and ask you to offer your interpretations of the story before we examine Dr. Estes’ analysis over the next two weeks (I think).

That means I’d love for you to offer your comments!!!

So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and enjoy the story. Then come back here and provide feedback. I’d love to hear what you have to say!

Have a great week!

The Quest for the Wild Woman

Last week in our reflection, we discussed four key questions we must begin with as we seek to reconstruct and reclaim ourselves as women. Those questions are fraught with difficulty; indeed, the questions in and of themselves may cause one to be taken aback with confusion, maybe even fear. Dr. Estes does not pretend this is easy work at all, though, and she encourages us all, affirming,

“The deepest work is usually the darkest. A brave woman, a wisening woman, will develop the poorest psychic land, for if she builds only on the best land of her psyche, she will have for a view the least of what she is. So do not be afraid to investigate the worst. It only guarantees increase of soul power through fresh insights and opportunities for re-visioning one’s life and self anew.”

It is this type of work where we

“…ultimately are able to break the old patterns of ignorance, by being able to behold a horror and not look away. [We] are able to see, and to stand what [we] see.”

This is where I’ve fought for years. I haven’t been able to look within and honestly see the ugly for what it is and be able to take it, to accept that it’s there and not beat myself over the head because of it. Upon reading that quote above, my soul sighed out of relief because I realized that I didn’t have to run away from it anymore. That I could look at that which is offensive inside and accept it for what it is. For those who are struggling with this, Dr. Estes offers us the following:

“If a woman does not look into these issues of her own deadness and murder, she remains obedient to the dictates of the predator…[But] Now that she see this, now that she registers how captured she is and how much psychic life is at stake, now she can assert herself in an even more powerful manner.”

So what we are doing is what Dr. Estes refers to as

“planning our escapes…whether from an old destructive mode, a lover, or a job…she is trying to rouse energy to overwhelm the captor, whether that specifically or in combination by a destructive religion, husband, family, culture, or a woman’s negative complexes.”

(I personally identify with those “negative complexes.”)

But how do we plan this “escape”? How do we rid ourselves of the negativity within, no matter what its source? Dr. Estes puts it this way:

“Instead of reviling the predator of the psyche, or running away from it, we dismember it. We accomplish this by not allowing ourselves divisive thoughts about our soul-life and our worth in particular. We capture invidious thoughts before they become large enough to do any harm, and we dismantle them.

“We dismantle the predator by countering its diatribes with our own nurturant truths. Predator: ‘You never finish anything you start.’ Yourself: ‘I finish many things.’ We dismantle the assaults of the natural predator by taking to heart and working with what is truthful in what the predator says and then discarding the rest.

“Women find that as they vanquish the predator, taking from it what is useful and leaving the rest, they are filled with intensity, vitality, and drive.”

I was encouraged and enlivened reflecting on Dr. Estes’ advice. There’s much to consider, but I no longer feel like I have to dread it.

It is at this point in Chapter 2 that Dr. Estes speaks of “The Dark Man in Women’s Dreams.” I didn’t get a good handle on this section because she describes the dark man dream as if a woman would have this type of dream in only one way. I’ve never had the type of dream she conveys here, so I’ve been having a hard time with this part of the chapter.

In essence, though, having a dream about “the dark man” can signal a woman is dealing with the predator and she needs to do something. Nevertheless, that something isn’t always related to one’s soul, necessarily. It could relate “a message about the threatening aspects of the culture one lives in, whether it be a small but brutal culture at the office, one within their own family, the lands of their neighborhood, or as wide as their own religious or national culture.” If, in fact, the dream is related to these types of cultural issues, “key” questions need to be asked again, such as, “What stands behind these proscriptions I see in the outer world? What goodness or usefulness of the individual, of the culture, the earth, of human nature has been killed, or lies dying here?” Dr. Estes, continues by saying,

“As these issues are examined, the woman is enabled to act according to her own abilities, according to her own talents. To take the world into one’s arms and to act toward it in a soul-filled and soul-strengthening manner is a powerful act…”

But a woman might excuse herself from such acts, whether toward the world or toward oneself, saying,

“I’m not talented. I’m not important. I’m not educated. I have no ideas. I don’t know how. I don’t know what. I don’t know when. And the most scurrilous of all: I don’t have time.”

What does a woman do? As stated above, dismantle the predator.

To summarize this chapter:

“In the Bluebeard story we see how a woman who falls under the spell of the predator rouses herself and escapes him, wiser for the next time. The story is about transformation of four shadowy introjects which are in particular contention for women: have no integrity of vision, have no deep insight, have no original voice, have no decisive action. In order to banish the predator, we must unlock or pry ourselves and other matters open to see what is inside. We must use our abilities to stand what we see. We must speak our truth in a clear voice. And we must be able to use our wits to do what need be about what we see.”

There is much to think about here. We’ll go on to Chapter 3, “Nosing Out the Facts: The Retrieval of Intuition as Initiation” next week. However, I want to take this chapter slowly since I’m still chewing on Chapter 2. Next week, I’ll present the story associated with Chapter 3 before we move forward.

Any thoughts, questions, ideas, issues? I’d love to hear them!!!

In my mind, this is what can happen when our dreams, goals, and aspirations are relegated to the dunghill, the trash heap, the landfill.

We were once lively dancers, brilliant artists, wonderful wordsmiths, prolific sculptors, versatile teachers, dynamic speakers, innovative mathematicians, eclectic designers, imaginative engineers, gifted medical workers, master chefs, gifted attorneys, quality builders, and (insert your dream here) – in our spirits, in our souls.

Then something happened…

© Copyright 2007 by Women Walking In Wisdom’s Footsteps™. All Rights Reserved.

In the last article in our series of “Women Who Run With The Wolves” reflections, I suggested we continue with asking ourselves the questions we need to ask ourselves in order to reclaim ourselves. Before we get into that discussion, however, I need to backtrack a bit.

If you read the story of Bluebeard, you know that the husband goes away on an extended trip. Before he leaves, he encourages his wife to invite her sisters to stay with her while he is gone, and gives his young wife a set of keys which opens all the doors in the three-story castle in which they live. He suggests that she can do anything she wants to do and open any door to the 100 rooms inside the castle she wants. But there is one key he tells her she cannot use, and gives no reason why.

The young wife and her sisters open all the doors with the keys her husband gave to her. But there was one last door with one last key. And they decided to use that key to open that last door. When they opened the door, they discovered its darkness inside. Once they lit a candle to discover what was inside, they were aghast,

“…for in the room was a mire of blood and the blackened bones of corpses were flung about and skulls were stacked in corners like pyramids of apples.

They slammed the door shut, shook the key out of the lock, and leaned against one another gasping, breasts heaving. My God! My God!”

As I re-read Dr. Estes’ analysis this past week, I realized I didn’t fully “get it” the first time. Bluebeard gives his young wife a set of keys, all except one which opens that which is superficial. These keys and doors represent being, as Dr. Estes explains,

“…too easily lured with promises of ease, of lilting enjoyment, of various pleasures, be they promises of elevated status in the eyes of her family, her peers, or promises of increased security, eternal love, high adventure, or hot sex.”

Bluebeard’s admonition not to use the forbidden key to open that last door represents, as Dr. Estes further expounds, represents,

“…the one key that would bring her to consciousness. To forbid a woman to use the key to conscious self knowledge strips her intuitive nature, her natural instinct for curiosity that leads her to discover ‘what lies beneath’ and beyond the obvious.”

What does the door represent which the key opens?

“The door in the tale is portrayed as a psychic barrier…Women strengthen this barrier or door when they discourage themselves or one another from thinking or diving too deeply…”

But what is behind the door? It was at this point that I got a fuller understanding that the blood, the bones of corpses, the skulls represent the “devastations of [a woman's] life…the loss of life’s energy.” Specifically, as Dr. Estes interprets it,

“When women open the doors of their own lives and survey the carnage there in those out-of-the-way places, they most often find they have been allowing summary assassinations of their most crucial dreams, goals, and hopes. They find lifeless thoughts and feelings and desires; ones which were once grateful and promising but now are drained of blood. Whether these hopes and dreams be about desire for relationship, desire for an accomplishment, a success, or a work of art, when such a gruesome discovery is made in one’s psyche, we can be sure the natural predator…has been at work methodically destroying a woman’s most cherished desires, concerns, and aspirations.”

This is the point when during my re-read that I got my “a-ha!” It was at this point that I really began to understand, deep within, what the carnage behind the door represented, and the fact that the door as a barrier is reinforced through my own thoughts and actions. I had dreams, hopes, and goals that I’ve pushed away, that I’ve allowed to die. The problem for me, though, is recovering much of that. In other words, it’s been so long that I’ve had these aspirations that they’re unrecognizable in some sense. As it is difficult to identify a corpse, as it is difficult to know what bone goes where, it is also difficult to reconstruct those dreams and goals. Nevertheless, I must do it. This is where I’ve been reflecting much of this past week.

So how do we reconstruct and reclaim? By asking those questions Dr. Estes suggests we ask of ourselves? We must ask ourselves four questions:

1. What stands behind the door?
2. What is not as it appears?
3. What do I know deep within my soul and spirit that I wish I did not know?
4. What of me has been killed, or lays dying?

These are difficult questions. But we must “ask any and all questions about oneself, about one’s family, one’s endeavors, and about life all around” if we are to restrain the predator, stop the killing of our souls, and move forth into being the women God called us to be. I’m intentionally going through that process as we speak. I’m hoping it won’t take me too long.

I realize it’s taking me a long time to get through this chapter, but I’d like to spend one more week here. While you are discovering for yourselves “what’s behind the door,” asking the four essential questions Dr. Estes presents, I’d like to complete this chapter next week by examining the clues we receive that signals something is wrong within our souls. Those clues, as Dr. Estes suggests, comes in the form of dreams.

Thanks for indulging me in this chapter’s study. Let me know what you think, where you are, and how you’re doing with the study.

As we continue our discussion and reflection of Women Who Run With The Wolves, Dr. Estes begins Chapter 2 entitled “Stalking the Intruder: The Beginning Initiation” by saying,

“In a single human being there are many other beings, all with their own values, motives, and devices.”

These different aspects of who we are, such as “being” insightful, playful, intuitive, inquiring, strong, loyal, adaptive, brave, loving, passionate, can all be hindered by an opposing force – the predator. This predator

“severs the woman from her intuitive nature…leav[ing] the woman deadened in feeling, feeling frail to advance her life; her ideas and dreams lay at her feet…”

To explain the concept of “the predator,” she elicits the story of Bluebeard, which, if you don’t have the book and would like to follow along, can be read here. In her analysis of Bluebeard, she enlightens us, stating that Bluebeard is “…filled with hatred and desires to kill the lights of the psyche.” She further states that this predator is a natural part of who we are, “a derisive and murderous antagonist that is born into us,” but in order for a woman to recapture and retain who she is as “Wild Woman,” we must know and restrain this predator using her intuition. We must, “recognize it…protect ourselves from its devastations…and ultimately…deprive it of its murderous energy.”

Dr. Estes writes that this is a lesson/story that applies not just to the naive woman (represented by the younger sister in Bluebeard) whose intuition is not yet developed, but it also applies to “the older woman who has not yet completely learned to recognize the innate predator.” Whether young or more mature, women need to be taught how to recognize the predator.

Why might it be difficult to recognize the predator for the one who is naive, whether young or older? Basically, according to Dr. Estes, she hasn’t been taught. There was no training during that woman’s youth of the intuitive side of her nature. Her intuition was stifled by not learning to see that which may be harmful. In which case, she is open prey to the predator.

Interestingly, this plays out, often, in a woman’s choice of men, Dr. Estes says. If a woman chooses men who are harmful to her (whether emotionally, physically, or both) over and over again, one can observe that the woman may feel that “if she just holds on…a little longer,…the [feeling of paradise] she seeks will appear in the next heartbeat.” Interestingly enough, her intuition has already sent out “red flags” to let her know that she should not proceed with the relationship. But because she holds out hope, she ignores those big red flags and bright flashing lights that say, “NO! STOP! GO BACK! DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200!”

Here is another example, that of a woman addicted to drugs:

“…a woman involved in a chemical addiction…has at the back of her mind a set of older sisters who are saying, ‘No! No way! This is bad for the mind and bad for the body. We refuse to continue.’ But the desire to find Paradise draws the woman into the marriage to Bluebeard, the drug dealer of psychic highs.”

Dr. Estes continues by saying,

“Whatever dilemma a woman finds herself in, the voices of the older sisters in her psyche continue to urge her to consciousness and to be wise in her choices. They represent those voices in the back of the mind that whisper the truths that a woman may wish to avoid for they end her fantasy of Paradise Found.”

So how do we, as women, find our way out? How do we recognize and restrain that predator that “mindlessly degrades and destroys a woman’s potential”? The key to transformation is to ask the right questions. As my husband says,

“The better the question, the deeper the understanding.”

But we must recognize that while it may be painful to unlock that door that those questions lead to, we must be willing to push past the pain. We must not be afraid to encounter the pain. We must not be fearful of discovering the worst of what we’ve experienced to encounter the best of who God made us to be. If we don’t do this work, if we do not “look into these issues of [our] own deadness and murder, [we] remain obedient to the dictates of the predator.”

Personally, I can so relate to this chapter. Not by any fault of my parents’, I was not taught what some might feel are the basics of being a woman. In other words, my father didn’t teach me what boys were like, nor did he teach me what to look for in men. He didn’t really even talk to me about them at all. All my mom said all throughout my teenage years is, “Just don’t come home pregnant.” And my parents surely didn’t model what a marriage relationship was supposed to be. But like I said, I don’t blame them for that because they didn’t know. Books about relationships and marriage were not popular with their generation, so they didn’t acquire the knowledge we have at our fingertips today.

So I identify with “the older woman who has not yet completely learned to recognize the innate predator.” This woman, “…has begun the process [of discovery] over and over again but, lacking guidance and support, has not yet finished with it…[yet] are at last readying for a final and decisive battle with it.” Nevertheless, I am ready. Over the past few years, with the support of my husband, I have really been forced to unlock those doors. I have had to take a look back at harmful relationships that I placed myself in while big red flags were waving and bright red lights were flashing inside. I have had to examine how the pain I endured as a result of those relationships seeped into my marriage. I have had to admit that I made some really stupid mistakes because of my ignorance. It sounds kind of stupid, but it’s my reality. But if I don’t take a close look and open myself up for God to do “open heart surgery” within my soul, I will never become what God created me to be.

I mentioned earlier that the right questions need to be asked in order to begin to reclaim who we are, to recognize the predator in our souls. In our next discussion, I’d like to continue with Chapter 2 and explore what those questions are. So stay tuned…

In the meantime, if you’d like, share your experiences with “the predator.”

“severs the woman from her intuitive nature…leav[ing] the woman deadened in feeling, feeling frail to advance her life; her ideas and dreams lay at her feet drained of animation.”

This “Bluebeard” is a predator, and naive women, whether young or old, are the prey. It is the woman’s responsibility to learn to identify this predator in order to ensure that it does not bury what makes us who we are as women.

Well, ladies (and gentlemen who want to learn more as well), this is about as much progress I’ve made this week. It is a dense chapter (what else is new about this wonderful book), and I try to go over the chapters a few times, attempt to live out what I’ve read, and communicate it back to my readers for comments, questions, feedback. However, this week has been a bit hectic at school, as I have had to grade over 80 papers and write comments (same concept as a blog; give feedback, constructive criticism, support, etc.) for those same students. Needless to say, it does take a good bit of time.

Therefore, I have no “analysis” of this chapter this week. However, we will resume our study next Monday, March 5th, continuing in Chapter 2. So you have more time to read and reflect!

In the meantime, if you haven’t had an opportunity to read the previous four posts, take a look at them by clicking on one of the “Article Series” posts below. (Yes, this study is now in the form of Article Series, so you can have access to any of the posts in the study readily.)

Look out for that Wild Woman!

We are continuing our quest of discovering who we truly are as women as we study Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. So far, our work has been preliminary, just trying to lay the groundwork for an intense work of the soul. Forgive me if you think we’re going a little slowly. This type of work, in my opinion, cannot be rushed, because I think so many times we want quick fixes for our pains, anxieties, restlessnesses, and emptiness, yet, it took awhile to arrive to where we are today. Or, maybe I’m just slow…

With that in mind, let’s complete our study of Chapter 1 – “The Howl: Resurrection of the Wild Woman.” In last week’s study, we discussed how we are entering into a miracle work of resurrection of the soul. Moreover, there are various ways we can enter into that miracle work – through prayer, meditation, journaling, dancing, creating music, or any number of creative and/or solitary activities. Hopefully, you had an opportunity to enter into the activity or activities which work well for you. Or, if you’re unsure of what works, try several of the activities Dr. Estes suggests in this chapter.

Nevertheless, Dr. Estes cautions us about how we enter in. If I may lend my interpretation of what she’s saying as she explains the story “The Four Rabbinim,” it seems she is saying this: approach your inner work reverently, knowing that the revelations you may receive will lead to different reactions in different people. Upon experiencing a great “a-ha” moment (many regard this as authentic religious experience), one can respond in one of the following ways:

• With too much fascination, where one will completely “overaestheticize” their “religious” experience
• With too little regard, where “some will undervalue” their experience
• With too much regard or emphasis, where one becomes obsessesed with what they experience
• Some not ready for the experience are injured by it
• With a healthy living out of what we experience; in other words, as Dr. Estes explains Carl Jung’s phraseology,

“Our work is to show we have been breathed upon – to show it, give it out, sing it out, to live out in the topside world what we have received through our sudden knowings, from body, from dreams and journeys of all sorts.”

Surely, since we now know in advance, let us have a healthy outlook about our work here. Let us not get so high and mighty in our “revelations,” shouting from the rooftops that what we’ve discovered is the answer for all. What works for you may not work for someone else. Provide your perspectives and leave room for the insights of others. Share with the understanding that you may be helping another in her journey without confining others to your way of apprehending the matter. And read other’s experiences with reverence. Understand that a major element of healing means we require a safe space to share. I intend to provide that here.

My hope is that we all would approach this study of ourselves with awe. Being a Christian, the awe that I feel comes from knowing that God created me with a purpose. He first created me in His image (this has nothing to do with gender – but everything to do with my role and calling as one who is to help care for the world in my own unique way). I then understand that He created me uniquely as a woman, and that as women, we’re equipped with gifts that men do not have. We are inherently nurturing, for example. Sometimes we live out of our emotions. And it’s all good.

But sometimes, what God created to be good becomes buried. And so, as Dr. Estes describes it, just as “Christ raised Lazarus, who had been dead so long he ’stinketh’…our meditation practice as women [is] calling back the dead and dismembered aspects of life itself.” It is participating in the miracle of resurrection in which we regain that intuition we once had, that instinct upon which we could once rely. It is once again developing that discernment with which we were born. And the good news is that no matter what you’ve been through, how many times you’ve fallen and found yourself in a hole you’ve not found yourself able to dig out of, all of the wonderful aspects of who we are can be reclaimed. That is good news!

However, as Dr. Estes states, “Like the dry bones, we so often start out in a desert.” This desert is “the place of divine revelation.” It’s okay, then, if you feel empty, dried up, and dried out. Embrace the desert for now. It is the place from where much of our growth will come. Because “[l]ife in the desert is small but brilliant…very intense…but precious things…can come from [that desert life].”

The issue is now this: “Today the old one inside you is collecting bones. What is she remaking…for you?”

Next week, we’ll move on to discuss Chapter 2 – Stalking the Intruder: The Beginning Initiation.” This is a phenomenal chapter in which Dr. Estes examines the importance and meaning of “the predator” of our souls we may dream find ourselves dreaming about – and taking control of that which tries to squash who we are.

Have a great week! And run toward that Wild Woman inside!!!