The video is a presentation of “Life Ev’ry Voice and Sing,” what many refer to as “The Black National Anthem.”  The Rev. Joseph Lowery quoted from the third verse of the song during his benediction at the Inauguration on January 20, 2009 when he prayed,

“God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou who has brought us thus far along the way, thou who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path, we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts, drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee. Shadowed beneath thy hand may we forever stand — true to thee, O God, and true to our native land.”

As I watched the images, I couldn’t help but be propelled into a past that I only experienced on the surface (being born in 1964 living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin).  I couldn’t help but to feel some pain knowing the injustices that were wrought on innocent people just because of the color of their skin.  Yet, the video is full of images of power, in the midst of the injustices served, and in the midst of the hurt and pain I felt, I also felt proud for the progress we’ve made.

I think the video tells a powerful story.  As my student shared it with me, I’d like to share it with you.

My husband and I try to teach our daughter how to make good choices. Even though she is (and will be) an only child, we refuse to allow her to grow up being a spoiled brat. I don’t think it is proper for a child to get everything under the sun just to get her to do what she should do, or learn how to do.

We also teach her how valuable she is. As a Black girl, she will encounter ignorance in her lifetime, most likely sooner rather than later (I know – both my husband and I experienced it at a young age), because while we are more aware of diversity in our society, we’ve not arrived. So we teach her how great she is because there will be those who will disrespect her and try to impose their ignorance upon her. She will know the truth so she can learn to handle the disrespect. I’m not trying to be negative here; I’m a realist, though. Could I be wrong, though? I hope so.

When children don’t learn how to respect others for their differences, terrible things can happen. We saw evidence of that recently with the killings at Virginia Tech. Please understand, this is not another post about that incident. It was (and still is) an important moment in our history – no doubt. I don’t wish to rehash it. Nevertheless, it’s so important for each of us to understand the importance of respecting others. And it’s incredibly important for parents to teach their children how to respect others. We can see what happens when 1) children are disrespected over their lifetime, and 2) when children aren’t taught to handle the pain which happens as a result of disrespect. And unfortunately, I see everyday that many children aren’t learning these important lessons.

Nevertheless, Gayla McCord at Supernanny Rules offered a poignant post a few weeks ago entitled “Things We Should Teach Our Children” that you absolutely must read (I’m just now getting caught up on my comments and reading). Please read Gayla’s post. She stresses the importance of teaching our children to respect others. And when you read it, please share it with others.

Thank you, Gayla, for sharing your heart.

IMUS: That’s some rough girls from Rutgers. Man, they got tattoos and –

McGUIRK: Some hard-core hos.

IMUS: That’s some nappy-headed hos there. I’m gonna tell you that now, man, that’s some — woo. And the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute, you know, so, like — kinda like — I don’t know.

McGUIRK: A Spike Lee thing.

…ROSENBERG: It was a tough watch. The more I look at Rutgers, they look exactly like the Toronto Raptors.

Many people have commented on Imus’ remarks, calling for his resignation. It was racist and sadly, FCC-supported. While I support the move calling for his resignation, I did not write this post with that intent. This post is a call for people in this country to think a bit more critically to understand that contrary to the popular children’s rhyme, sticks and stones hurt, and words hurt as well.

I was styling my daughter’s hair this morning as I listened to a Black radio talk show host addressing Imus’ racially-charged criticism of women he hadn’t met and didn’t know. My daughter is beautiful, intelligent, a great person, a superstar, as my husband, Manchild, says, “destined to achieve greatness,” and a gorgeous three-year old Black girl with very curly, beautiful hair. We constantly affirm her in who she knowing she will encounter ignorant remarks such as those Don Imus and his cohorts so insensitively made. I grew up in the Midwest/North, yet, racism was and is still alive and well. And being called out of your name, while knowing inherently the filth directed toward you isn’t the truth, it still penetrates, it still hurts. So when (notice I said “when,” not “if”) our daughter hears racial slurs spewed across the airwaves or in her face, she will know the truth. I pray it will not penetrate her soul. I pray we will impart so much of how much we love and esteem her and how gloriously God views her that her spirit will not be damaged.

Unfortunately, the damage has already been done to some. During the Michael Baisden show (a nationally-syndicated Black radio talk show airing weekday afternoons), a young Black girl called and expressed her views about Imus’ epithets in the form of a powerful poem. She read the poem with such passion that it’s difficult to really hear the pain and anger in her voice as she read it over the air. Michael Baisden posted the poem on his forum at MingleCity.com. I offer the poem here as well.

Violent
By Yvonne Espinoza

We’re violent because this is all we know
You taught us this along time ago
We’re violent because you made us this way
You beat us naked, you hung our people,
Raped our kids and stripped us of our pride
And you now wanna ask why?
Give us a reason not to be
You can’t, it’s impossible

Because to give us a reason, you’d have to right all the wrong you’ve done
But you can’t and if you could then
You’ve only just begun
You’d have to beg for mercy, plead and cry
You’d have to feel the pain we felt
The pain that took lives

You go through the hardships,
The trials and tribulations,
The suffering, the heartache, the dying babies
You sit on a boat full of hundreds of sick,
Old people living to die
How about you dance to make money
Look ignorant on t.v.
Go to jail for nothing
Harassed because others don’t like what they see

Have your people get beat to death
By those who get paid to protect
You eat trash to survive
How about you watch your people and babies die
Get sold for a dime
Kill themselves because they don’t want to live this life

We went through it then and we go through it now
And you know it’s true, and you still ask why?
How dare you have the audacity
Who made you king?

Despite common belief and despite what you think
There is only one king, one God
And he walks with me, with us
The ones who were forced to live in grief
Who were cut, killed, raped and beat
Like animals, brainwashed to think like you

You hacked away, pulled and dragged us down
Until we didn’t want to be Black or Brown
We didn’t want to be Colored or Negroes
We wanted to be High, Suddity, White Folk
We though if we looked, smelled, and act like you
We could live a regular life, and though we tried
You still continued to beat and lay us out
To hang us from our necks, to laugh at our bodies

You could never blame us for being this way
Because you taught us violence
So how dare you think of forming any kind of alliance
Now we know that two wrongs don’t make a right
But since we have none,
Why should we spare your life?

It’s your fault for all of this
And if you didn’t teach us violence
Then who did?
It couldn’t have been us
Because, remember, we’re ignorant!

You should be careful what you say
Because your words have power
Say it enough and it’ll come true…
I know you’ve heard of karma
God have mercy on you.

Yet, it’s not that she asked to go to the potty that I was so excited about (although I do make it a big deal to let her know that she did a good thing and she’s a big girl for doing so).  It was what she said while she was sitting there on the pot.  For no reason, she said,

“I LIKE MYSELF!”

As a Black woman, I thought it wonderful that my daughter said, “I like myself,” since many of our Black girls do not view themselves in a positive light.  Kiri Davis, producer of Reel Works Teen Filmmaking, chronicled the attitudes of several young Black girls in her short film documentary entitled “A Girl Like Me.”  Part of the film included a segment in which two dolls – one White and one Black – were presented before 21 Black girls and boys (it seemed the sample was mostly girls).  When asked individually which doll each preferred, Ms. Davis recounts at the end of the segment that 15 out of the 21 Black children polled preferred the White doll over the Black doll.  Generally speaking, the Black doll represented that which was undesirable, ugly, bad.  It was heartbreaking for me to watch.

Nevertheless, this film is an incredibly important work for a number of reasons.  As a mother, it is necessary for my daughter to know that skin color is not what makes a person good or bad.  It is important for her to know that hair texture is not the measure of beauty.  It is crucial for her to know that her identity is not tied up in her body type.  As Darryl Owens of the Orlando Sentinel stated in his Jan. 27, 2007 column, “Black Children’s Self-Esteem Still Needs Some Work,” 

“It is about helping black children — like the girl in Davis’ film, who hesitated before painfully picking the black doll as the one she resembled — feel good in their skin.”

Right now, my daughter feels good in her “skin.”  I want her to always feel that way.  And so my husband and I affirm her everyday.  When I style her hair, I always tell her how gorgeous her hair is.  When we look in the mirror, I tell her how beautiful her brown skin is.  When I’m changing her out of those ridiculous pull-ups (which I pray we can get rid of by her birthday in May), I tell her what wonderful thighs she has (they are thick like mine, yet until I was a second-semester college freshman, I thought they were fat).  And, of course, we tell her just overall what a superstar she is.  Because if I ever decide I want to present that same “test” to her, I want her to make the “right” choice.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re Black or White or whatever color skin you have, please take a look at Ms. Davis’ award-winning film short.  It’s only seven minutes long, and will be well worth your time, even if you’ve seen it before.  As Ms. Davis says about making this film,

“I learned that giving the girls an opportunity to talk about these issues and their experiences helped us all to look deeper and examine the many things in society that affect us and shape who we are.”

Let us all get a little better educated about what affects and shapes us.  Then let’s help to instill positive images into our children’s souls, no matter what color skin surrounds it.

Favorite #1 — The Law of Attraction is big these days, and I can definitely subscribe to some of the tenets.  Nevertheless, I can’t help but to know that the proverb that the principle most subscribes to is “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 3:27).  I wrote a post on having balance with regard to the Law of Attraction, but Paula Neal Mooney really captures it on her recent post, “The Secret DVD:  God On Steroids.”  Take a look.

Favorite #2 — With all the talk about diversity in the world (actually, the conversation goes in waves depending on who’s being focused on in the media), this post entitled “If There Were Just 100 People In The World”  at The Challenge Of Life provides a great twist.  Very intriguing and gives much to think about. 

Favorite #3 — Last night, I was rushing to get my daughter to bed so that I wouldn’t miss any of “Grey’s Anatomy.”  I felt guilty afterward because I didn’t take as much time to read to her as I think I probably should have.  Fortunately, I remembered this post at Silicon Valley Moms entitled “I Confess.”  For moms who feel guilty thinking they should’ve done “this or that” with their child, PLEASE READ THIS POST!!!   

Favorite #4 — There are many personality tests out there.  But did you know that crayons are the true indicators of personality type?  What color crayon represents the person who is ambitious, determined, and ready for anything?  Jane at My Many Colored Crayons presents the opportunity to take this personality test at “Because this is my crayon box after all.”  By the way, I’m a blue crayon!

Favorite #5 — My husband believes ”a woman is a man’s most valuable resource.”  Of course, you all should know I appreciate that conviction quite a bit.  On his blog, When Least Expected™, his post, “The Power Of A Wise Woman’s Words,” features a wonderful poem by Ms. Sojourner Truth delivered during the Women’s Convention in Akron, Ohio in December 1851 entitled “And Ain’t I A Woman.”  Yes, I’m partial, but I also think it’s a great post.

Thus ends this week’s edition of Five Favorites For Friday…

Let me know what you think!!!  And by all means, post lots of comments where those posts are featured!!!

Because it is billed as an African drumming ensemble, I thought that having them perform would be a great way to begin Black History Month, a month that many schools throughout the country celebrate in some way.  When I sat down, I noticed three people from the ensemble were on the stage who had taken to their drums that morning – two men (one who was African-American and one who was West African) and one woman (who was white, South African).  That was okay, until the white woman got up to lead the group – the Drum Cafe as well as our assembly of students and faculty. 

That scene grated me.  

Why, you ask? 

As a Black woman who teaches at a predominately white school, I was uncomfortable with the fact that the Black men were in the background while the white woman was in the foreground “leading” us in rhythm and dance.  I felt personally slighted that the Black men seemed to have been forced to take a subordinate role.  I felt uncomfortable because the white kids at the school didn’t experience any of the leadership the Black men could have provided other than participating in the beating of the drums (though extremely vital and crucial to the success of the performance).

So during this performance, at a school that places hardly any emphasis on the importance and value of Black History Month, I was faced with my own prejudices, my own stereotypes.  Trying to take into consideration that here was a woman who was on the side of justice, not the side of bigotry.  Trying to see that she could have symbolized the tearing down of the walls of racism.  Trying to see that there are lots of people in the world that value what people of color have to offer.

I don’t go around looking for bigotry and racism everywhere I go.  Nevertheless, with the emphasis on race surrounding the upcoming Democratic primary and presidential race, the fact that the Super Bowl featured two Black coaches, being in a great school that unfortunately doesn’t take to Black History Month well, and the conversations swirling around it all, I tend to get a bit sensitive.  I’m just confessing – yes, as a Black woman, I, too, have my biases.

(The performance was great, by the way…)

I received two emails today.  Here is the first (don’t spend too much time on it – just skim it):

UK NATIONAL LOTTERY HEADQUARTERS
2 Lansdowne Row, Berkeley Square.
London, W1J 6H,
United Kingdom.

Dear Winner

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of £1,000,000.00 (British Pounds)  held on the 27th of January 2007, in
London Uk.The selection process was carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection system (ess) from a database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from which you were selected. your e-mail address emerged as one of two winners in the category “A” with the following winning information:

REF No: UKNL-L/200-26937
BATCH No: 2007MJL-01
TICKET No: 20511465463-7644
SERIAL No: S/N-00168
LUCKY No: 887-13-865-37-10-83

The BRITISH UK. Lottery is approved by the British Gaming Board. To begin the processing of your prize, you are to contact our fiduaciary claims department for more infomation as regards procedures to claim your prize.

Mr. Nolan Woods.
Email: (I deleted this so no one could link to the address) 

Tel : + (I deleted these numbers)
       + (I deleted these numbers)
Fax: + (I deleted these numbers)
Contact him by sending him with the underlisted informations;

NAME:
AGE:
SEX:
ADDRESS:
EMAIL:
PHONE:
OCCUPATION:
COMPANY:
COUNTRY:
AMOUNT WON:

Reply to this confidential email account: email:
(I deleted this email)

Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Caroline Bryan

Online coordinator for UK NATIONAL LOTTERY
Sweepstakes International Program.
NATIONAL LOTTERY.

Here is the second email (again, just skim it):

Dear Friend,

I have not considered this medium to be the best manner to have approached you on this issue being that the internet has been greatly abused over the recent years and is very unsecured for informations of vital importance. I have decided to take the chance seeing that no other means could have been faster and more efficient than the E-mail.

The name is Mr. Henry Coleman and I am the director of foreign operations of my Bank. I have been incharge of this department for six years and to best of my knowleage have discharge my duty with equity. I had a foreign client who is deceased as at this time, but have assets still unclaimed with the bank.

In the process of review of the financial report by my department, I discovered that both of you have a similar last name, hence I contacted you so that I can give you further briefing on my intention and how to disburse the estate he left behind.

I will most welcome your prompt response as that would enable us to start something immediately.

Sincerely,

Henry Coleman.

As I know we’re relatively computer-savvy (we started at least one blog, didn’t we?), to fall for these scams seems to be improbable to me.  Nevertheless, I wanted to do a little bit of research on them since they seem to be popping up more frequently in my inbox, as they may have in yours.

Both of these emails, as well as different versions of them, are referred to as one of the following (from Snopes.com):

1. Nigerian Scam
2. Advance Fraud Scheme
3. 419 Scheme

In spite of the fact that there has been much press exposing this scheme and its initiators, people are still getting duped by it.  Dr. Kevin Pho at “Kevin, M.D. Medical Weblog” writes about doctors getting scammed by the Advanced Fraud Scheme.

The folks over at “BoingBoing” and “TailRank” write about Thomas Katona, a county treasurer in Michigan, who fell for the scam and ended up getting arraigned for embezzlement of funds.

Mail & Guardian Online report of a retired Italian banker who lost over $1 million by participating in this fraud.

And according to Freep.com, the “Nigerian email scam [is] still collecting from its victims.”

The “419 Coalition” has a series of steps to take if you do receive one these emails. 

However, that is not the purpose for this post.  Because these scams have been originating in Nigeria (although other variations of the scam have been popping up in other locations throughout the world), it would be “natural” for people to begin associating Nigerians with “scam.”  Essentially, because of press coverage this topic has received, the risk for “scam profiling” of Nigerians is quite high.  So I wanted to bring attention to the fact that just because there are Nigerians associated with this scam does not mean that all Nigerians endorse it or condone the behavior of the scam artists.  In fact, Nilla, a patriotic Nigerian, says this:

“For all non-Nigerians, scammers are not celebrated in Nigeria, only the scammers celebrate what they’ve achieved.”

As you receive these emails and hear the news reports about the scam artists behind them, let’s remember that a few bad apples do not represent an entire people.  Most Nigerians abide by the law.  Let’s stomp racial profiling to where it belongs – into the pit of hell.

Nonetheless, you should know that I will not approach the issue in a politically partisan or non-partisan way. As an African-American woman, it is true that I have experienced much discrimination and racism in my lifetime. But I am concerned for the many Blacks (especially women) who have been “discriminated against” by their own. The pain that results from the rejection one feels by not being accepted by those supposedly within your circle sometimes hurts worse than the rejection felt by those without. As a result, feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred can ensue, causing one to “lose their identity” or wish they were somebody else. This is an especially troublesome issue for young Black girls.

I want to address this issue because it is real; I experienced it. I want to address this issue because I have a daughter. I don’t want her thinking that because she has a certain skin tone and a certain texture of hair that that makes her to be “this” (whatever “this” is). I want her to be able to deal with the very real possibility that she may be hurt by her own. And I want her to be able to handle it. So within these posts will be my hashing out of an “ideology” I will communicate to my daughter as she is growing up…so that she will better understand those “matters” of race.

I invite you to join me in the evolution of this discussion…