The interview is 16 minutes.  Take a listen.  Enjoy.

“TED is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design.

You can find talks about various topics, from education to religion to technology to entertainment…Lots of very intriguing speakers, some who are well-known, such as Al Gore, to less well-known people, who, in their talks, inspire us, teach us, persuade us, fascinate us…

I came across a new TED talk today that I felt I had to share. This talk was given by Tony Porter at the first TEDWomen conference held just this past month. Mr. Porter is the co-founder of A Call to Men, a non-profit organization “committed to ending violence against women.” In his presentation, he discusses the “Man Box,” and how living in the “Man Box” causes men to live in bondage to what some men think being a man is all about. He discusses how much of living in the “Man Box” leads to violence against women. Nonetheless, he concludes his talk with a profound statement of liberation that we all, men and women, must hear.

Below is the video of “Tony Porter: A Call to Men.” Play it for every man you know. But as a woman, I feel it is also a call to me – to further understand these issues so that I can understand that there are other men who are trying to break free of the “Man Box.” I need to understand these issues so that when my husband explains the “Man Box” to our daughter, that I will be able to understand right along with her.

I am the wife of a man who has long broken out of the “Man Box.” Nonetheless, let us all seek to understand the men in our lives to support them breaking out of their own “Man Box.”

Poetry slammer Katie Makkai gives voice to how we – as parents, as teachers, as those concerned with the tender hearts of our young people – should respond to the insecurities our girls carry as a result of listening to and watching what the media deems to suggest what’s right for them. It is absolutely powerful.

One of the areas of greatest concern to me now, as a mother and teacher (in a private school) is the state of education today – public education, that is. Our daughter is in first grade in the public school system, and I’ve found myself dismayed by the education system in this country. Civility is no longer valued among students, teachers are not respected, some teachers deserve not to influence our children’s minds. So one of the things I focus on is education.

To that end, my posts will probably focus more on the topic of education, since the need for education reform is staggering. We all need to engage ourselves in this effort, because if we don’t, we’ll decline into third world status…literally. And our children, so precious, deserve so much better than that.

To that end, I want to share this video. It’s entitled “Lost Generation.” It’s less than two minutes long, but in that less than two minutes, a great message about our young people needs to be heard – and spread across this country.

Take a look…

Our children deserve so much more than what we’re giving them.

So how often do we observe cell phone use while driving? In the Atlanta area, all the time. And ‎although inherently I believed it was a dangerous practice, I sometimes felt I had to call my ‎husband on my way home from work, or call a friend because the 35-40 minute commute was the ‎most convenient time to have a conversation.‎

That was before I watched Oprah’s episode on what Oprah refers to as “America’s New Deadly ‎Obsession,” cell phone use while driving, when it first aired a couple of weeks ago. As I listened to ‎the stories about people losing their lives because someone, whether it was the person killed or ‎someone in another vehicle, was using a cell phone while driving, I was convicted. And I thought ‎to myself, “That could’ve been me. I could’ve caused an injury or death at any time.” So I ‎acknowledge I’ve been fortunate. My angels have been looking out for me. But after that episode, ‎I promised I would never use my cell phone for anything as I drive.

To that end, I am signing Oprah’s No Phone Zone Pledge. It states the following:‎

I pledge to make my car a No Phone Zone. Beginning right now, I will do my part to help put an ‎end to distracted driving by not texting or using my phone while I am driving. I will ask other ‎drivers I know to do the same. I pledge to make a difference.

I know we are all busy. We try to cram as much into a day as possible, because there are ONLY 24 ‎hours in a day. But seriously, is phone use while driving really worth the lives we put at risk when ‎we engage in what Oprah calls “America’s New Deadly Obsession”? Is it worth your son or ‎daughter losing their mother or father? Is it worth losing the loved ones who ride with you each ‎day? Is it worth taking the life of someone’s daughter or son? Rhetorical. No need to answer.‎

Oh, by the way, check out this statistic: we are four times more likely to have an accident if driving and talk on our cell phones. That is the equivalent of a driving with a blood alcohol of .08, ‎the limit at which one is charged a DUI. Even worse, we are eight times more likely to have an ‎accident if we text while driving. ‎

Unfortunately, not too long after the episode aired, it was reported that a 19-year old man sending a text slammed into a telephone pole here in Atlanta.

Is it worth it?‎

Check out the show link here ‎at Oprah’s website.‎

So far, only over 76,000 drivers have signed the pledge. I’ve signed it. Will you?

(Actually, I shouldn’t be all that amazed. Email has become a vital method of communication in our offices and businesses as well as between our families and friends.)

Maybe I’m overreacting. After all, our daughter will be four years old this spring, and naturally she is increasingly interested in computers, particularly in viewing videos online (since her daddy and I spend a lot of time at the computer). I often think about how we’ll navigate that world with her as she begins elementary school in less than two years.

I was recently made aware of a PBS Frontline program that will air tonight entitled “Growing Up Online,” where “Frontline Investigates The Risks, Realities And Misconceptions Of Teen Life On The Internet.” And lest you think that the only concern is encountering sexual predators online, this program will also discuss “cyber-bullying” and achieving “instant ‘Internet fame’.”

Here are a few quotes from the program’s press release:

“Jessica Hunter was a shy and awkward girl who struggled to make friends at school. Then, at age 14, she reinvented herself online as ‘Autumn Edows,’ an alternative goth artist and model who posted provocative photos of herself on the Web, and fast developed a cult following. ‘I just became this whole different person,’ Jessica tells FRONTLINE. ‘I didn’t feel like myself, but I liked the fact that I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like someone completely different. I felt like I was famous.’”

“Through social networking sites, kids with eating disorders share tips about staying thin, and depressed kids can share information about the best ways to commit suicide.”

“John Halligan’s son was cyberbullied for months—first at school, then online—before he ultimately hanged himself just weeks into the start of eighth grade.”

Here is a preview video of the broadcast:

(If the video isn’t displayed, click here.)

Whether we’re parents, grandparents, teachers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, or mentors of young people, this should be of interest to all of us. What do you think? Are our children growing up too fast in this online world? What should be done about it? And do you plan to watch the program? (Note: the program will re-air several times and also appear online – according to pbs.org.)

My husband and I try to teach our daughter how to make good choices. Even though she is (and will be) an only child, we refuse to allow her to grow up being a spoiled brat. I don’t think it is proper for a child to get everything under the sun just to get her to do what she should do, or learn how to do.

We also teach her how valuable she is. As a Black girl, she will encounter ignorance in her lifetime, most likely sooner rather than later (I know – both my husband and I experienced it at a young age), because while we are more aware of diversity in our society, we’ve not arrived. So we teach her how great she is because there will be those who will disrespect her and try to impose their ignorance upon her. She will know the truth so she can learn to handle the disrespect. I’m not trying to be negative here; I’m a realist, though. Could I be wrong, though? I hope so.

When children don’t learn how to respect others for their differences, terrible things can happen. We saw evidence of that recently with the killings at Virginia Tech. Please understand, this is not another post about that incident. It was (and still is) an important moment in our history – no doubt. I don’t wish to rehash it. Nevertheless, it’s so important for each of us to understand the importance of respecting others. And it’s incredibly important for parents to teach their children how to respect others. We can see what happens when 1) children are disrespected over their lifetime, and 2) when children aren’t taught to handle the pain which happens as a result of disrespect. And unfortunately, I see everyday that many children aren’t learning these important lessons.

Nevertheless, Gayla McCord at Supernanny Rules offered a poignant post a few weeks ago entitled “Things We Should Teach Our Children” that you absolutely must read (I’m just now getting caught up on my comments and reading). Please read Gayla’s post. She stresses the importance of teaching our children to respect others. And when you read it, please share it with others.

Thank you, Gayla, for sharing your heart.

And it’s at this time of the year that I wish I had an easier and faster way of assessing my students’ work. In fact, I’m actually thinking about a method that Professor Daniel J. Solove, associate professor of law at the George Washington University School of Law, presented in his “Guide to Grading Exams” at his blog Concurring Opinions. It looks to be efficient and effective at fairly arriving at the grade a student deserves for assignments (for those of you who’ve ever wondered how teachers and professors arrive at certain grades, this will give you a clue, sort of). It’s s-o-o-o-o tempting.

While I assess my students, then, I also give my students the opportunity to assess me as a teacher. I construct and give out course/teacher evaluations every few years just to see how I’m doing in different areas. I get nervous when I give them out, and usually wait until my exams are graded and final grades submitted so my students don’t worry about any perceived potential repercussions (even though they are anonymous and I wouldn’t consciously dig a student for giving me a bad evaluation!).

Our faculty was recently told that this year, all teachers are required to give our students “surveys” which students would complete to determine how well we’re doing as teachers. Each question had five responses; in general, they could bubble-in one response. While each teacher would be privy to his or her own surveys this year, next academic year those survey results go to the administration. I don’t have a problem with this. I think it’s a good thing to receive feedback from my students about their experiences in my classes. It helps me to reflect on my successes and failures throughout the year and hopefully make necessary changes.

Except when I get a “survey” with scathing responses!!!

One of my students placed a completed survey in my mailbox yesterday afternoon. I was surprised because I had not yet given the surveys to my students. My stomach churned as I read this anonymous student’s responses to the 19 questions provided. For example,

Question: The teacher is enthusiastic about the subject.
Response: Tend to disagree

Question: The teacher explains the material clearly.
Response: Seldom

Question: The teacher treats students fairly.
Response: Tend to disagree

Question: The teacher respects students.
Response: Tend to agree
(I’m a little confused on this one in light of the previous question)

Question: The tests in this course are…
Response: Too hard

Question: The rate at which the teacher covers material is…
Response: Too slow

The entire completed survey had this sort of bitter bite. And it really put a damper on the rest of my afternoon. Why? Because this student went out of his or her way to obtain a blank survey from another teacher before I gave it to my own classes, filled it out, and placed it in my mailbox in the teacher’s lounge! This student went out of his or her way to voice displeasure in me. To express discontent in my class.

It hurt.

When I shared it with my husband, he tried to encourage me by saying, “But we know the truth.” When I thought about it, though, feelings of doubt and inadequacy rose up within me. All because a 17-year old kid railed me!

I handed out the surveys to my senior classes today, wondering how many more sourful surveys I would garner. Admittedly, I was a little anxious. Yes, I know I’m the adult, and maybe I shouldn’t have let it get to me so much. Nevertheless, I love teaching. I believed in my heart of hearts that my students could see that in me. I believed that I taught well some of the time. I believed that I was putting my gift to good use.

And so I get…

Question: The teacher is enthusiastic about the subject.
Response: Tend to agree

Question: The teacher explains the material clearly.
Response: Usually

Question: The teacher treats students fairly.
Response: Agree

Question: The teacher respects students.
Response: Agree

Question: The tests in this course are…
Response: Too hard

Question: The rate at which the teacher covers material is…
Response: Satisfactory

And so I breathe a sigh of relief, believing that it’s not all that bad. Yet, I can’t help thinking about the student who felt the need to respond first. Might the student have a bone to pick (after receiving a terrible grade on a test)? Probably. Does that fact make the student’s responses any less valid or relevant? I tend not to think so. I wish I knew who the student was so that I could have a candid discussion with him or her. It will probably never happen.

Nevertheless, that survey was a wake-up call for me. While the academic year will end right before Memorial Day and I’ll have ten weeks off (how great it is being a teacher – but the hardest work I’ve ever done!!!), it will be a time for me to reflect on my teaching skills, my area of expertise, my approach to students, and my curriculum to see what I will improve upon next academic year.

Scathing criticism – yes it was. And while a bit hurtful, it was helpful.

I know I am sometimes sensitive in this area, especially when it comes to my husband giving me advice or trying to teach me something. Yet, I know growth cannot be achieved in my life without it. How do you respond to “constructive criticism” from your wife, husband, friends, parents, co-workers, and/or those who make comments on your site you don’t agree with?

I cannot imagine, though, people preying on those students who chose to share their horrendous experiences on their own blogs that day and days following. I’m referring to some journalists who just have to get the story. Journalists who must be first on the scene.

I’m not knocking journalists. Without journalists, we wouldn’t have access to information about the world and around the world to which we have access now. And, in fact, I’m sure being a journalist is tough; I surely wouldn’t want to be one. I discovered a quote from CNN Student News, regarding the role of the journalist, which stated:

“(A journalist has the) inescapably impossible task of providing every week a first rough draft of a history that will never be completed about a world we can never understand.” – Phil Graham, late chairman of the board of the Washington Post Company

And surely, there is no understanding the massacre one man imposed upon dozens of people. Yet, one must question the motives of journalists who use these students’ tragedies to get a story.

As has been reported, many students recorded the incident, as they saw it and experienced it, on their personal blogs, whether on Facebook, MySpace, LiveJournal, Friendster, etc. Surely, their entries were not meant for public consumption. Robin Hamman of cybersoc.com wrote about this phenomenon in his post, “virginia tech bloggers: approach and confirm or link and disclaim?” He refers to Robert Andrews at journalism.co.uk who reports of one blogger in his post, “Reporters turn to blogs for shooting witnesses,”

“Bryce Carter, who reported hearing gunshots at the university campus, subsequently wrote of his mixed emotions after his posts were picked up by Fox News: ‘Each time I hear something else, I get a brief moment of selfish joy before I am stabbed in the heart, realising that I deserve no credit and that lives are gone, destroyed and in pain.

“‘What is the significance of all this? My postings are simply what I always do, except I left my thoughts for the public instead of just my friends.’”

It seems some journalists are getting their stories about the massacre by perusing blogs to find authors who wrote posts on their personal blogs about the incident from their own perspectives. Hamman discovered one reporter’s approach:

“Sorry to hear about this. CBC Newsworld is doing live interviews with people who are affected by the shooting. Can you please drop me a line at [email] when you have a moment? THANKS”

There are many more of these types of inquiries Hamman writes about in his post. And to me, it seems sad. Young people are experiencing tremendous tragedy, and reporters, wanting to get a good story, pounce upon these students in their time of grief and pain. I just think there is a problem with attempting to capitalize on the tragedy of others. There is something unethical about it, borderline inhumane. I recognize that journalists have a job to do. But isn’t there a better way of obtaining a story than obtrusively gaining access to people’s lives by scouring blogs? I understand that by putting your personal information on a blog you’re out there in the open for the entire world to see. But do we not, in our own souls, understand that people are going through intense tragedy? Can journalists put themselves in the shoes of the victims and ask themselves, “Would I want to be barraged by people who I don’t even know to suck a story out of me?”

We need to know that there are unethical journalists out there. And Hamman lays out the truth of the situation. But in recognizing and acknowledging the truth that some journalists are using “underhanded” methods to get their information, there is opportunity for those journalists to redeem themselves. Hamman states,

“…yesterday’s events, and the ensuing media frenzy in the comments of a LiveJournal user and elsewhere, show that where mainstream media does use – and yes, that word was chosen deliberately – content created by bloggers, that the journalists, researchers and reporters do it with sensitivity.

“Think when you link. Understand that some content published in public was never intended to be seen by a mass audience.

I am thankful for people like Robin Hamman who have exposed the truth about this type of reporting. It allows me to see the reporting of incidents like that which occurred at Virginia Tech in a different light.

How do you feel about the reporting of the Virginia Tech massacre?

(Disclaimer: This post didn’t really go where I wanted it to – but this is where it ended up. Sorry if it doesn’t make much sense; yet, I hope it is of some value.)

As the title of this post indicates, I am thankful for books!

You might say, “That’s corny.” In a way, it may seem to be, considering we spend so much time these days on the internet conducting business, sending emails, blogging, participating in virtual life, instant messaging…

And if you have a Blackberry (I don’t), how much time do you spend with that? I’ve heard news reports of Blackberry addiction, addiction which psychologists deem must be treated!

What about iPods? Are you addicted to yours? (I don’t have one of those either, but I anticipate having one someday.)

In fact, a poll reported on at TechDirt in Dec. 2005 reveals,

“Americans are showing “early signs of addiction” to their gadgets. It says about half of computer and mobile phones say they can’t imagine life without the devices, while 40 percent of broadband users say the same about it — signs that people ‘are getting hooked” on new technologies.’”

Now, I’m not coming down on anyone who uses technology on a regular basis. I happen to love blogging, I use the internet often for my work on many days, and of course, email is a necessity. Nevertheless, I can’t help but to think how much of my use of technology takes up the time I used to spend doing something that really stimulates my mind – READING BOOKS! I’m thankful for books, but I’m afraid that we don’t spend the time reading literature that we ought.

Laura at WritingThoughts talks about this issue in her post “Where Have All the Readers Gone?” She discovered that in a 2004 study,

“…fewer and fewer [of] us are reading literature — a trend that the study predicts will continue. (I realize that this is a somewhat old study. I searched and searched for a newer one, but did not find one. If you know of one, let me know.)

“So, why is it important to care if our culture has stopped reading? Not only do I think that the best writers are readers, but I also think that reading good literature causes us to share ideas, thoughts, and feelings. It is a sharing that can cross boundaries of time, space, and culture.”

I so agree with Laura. Ideas arise out of literature that we sometimes cannot express on our own. Emotions we may feel ill-at-ease about communicating can erupt out of the pages of an intense novel in which we can discuss characters without necessarily disclosing all about ourselves. Maybe we can see more of our good qualities in a character (or maybe those with which we are challenged) we may not otherwise see if we hadn’t read a book. We may attain a sense of empowerment reading about an antagonist’s struggles. We can experience all of this, I believe, and more by reading books (I’m not even talking about self-help books here, as Laura herself attests).

Moreover, I believe reading books early and continuing that practice throughout one’s lifetime is directly related to the ability to think critically and creatively. Reading books allows us to enter in, ask questions, devise solutions, laugh, cry, get angry, be joyful, for that which comprises the narrative within. How do we learn how to ask questions and present solutions to problems in our world if we don’t take the opportunity to learn how to do it in the context of reading a book? As a teacher, I see this phenomenon each year, where students don’t know how to dissect passages, understand issues, or even write grammatically correct sentences and put together coherent paragraphs. Is this a function of education? Yes, possibly. However, when I ask my students what types of activities they engage in outside of school, the answers are Facebook, listening to their iPod, instant-messaging, or playing videogames. Rarely do I hear that students read books for pleasure. And unfortunately, I see the results. Students don’t know how to write well. They don’t know how to think clearly. They aren’t confident asking questions of texts. They are afraid of being “wrong.” And what that results in is a student needing their hands held more often than not. It bugs me.

So I’m thankful for books! They take me to other worlds. They help me see life from another’s point of view. They teach me to see that I am blessed in my own life. They help me to think.

So what books have I read lately? As a teacher grading papers, tests, and preparing for class each day, as a mother with an almost 3-year old, as well as a husband involved in great projects I’m helping him to implement, it’s a little difficult to carve out the time. But I feel awful when I don’t read! Nevertheless, this past year, I’ve read The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown (much better than the movie!), The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd, Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. All of these are great books, and I highly recommend them all. On tap this summer is The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, Dreaming Me: From Baptist to Buddhist, One Woman’s Spiritual Journey by Jan Willis, and Beloved by Toni Morrison.  I’m also going to attempt to finish The Red Tent by Anita Diamant.  I’m excited about having a little more time during the summer to read a little more (although it’s sometimes difficult with a toddler to entertain!). I’m excited about the newness I’ll discover!

So Ang at Ang4Him, I’m thankful for books! I hope and pray that with our increased use of technology we don’t forget the gifts that exist within the pages of a good piece of literature.

Because if we don’t read, where will we get our ideas about which to blog anyway?