So how often do we observe cell phone use while driving? In the Atlanta area, all the time. And ‎although inherently I believed it was a dangerous practice, I sometimes felt I had to call my ‎husband on my way home from work, or call a friend because the 35-40 minute commute was the ‎most convenient time to have a conversation.‎

That was before I watched Oprah’s episode on what Oprah refers to as “America’s New Deadly ‎Obsession,” cell phone use while driving, when it first aired a couple of weeks ago. As I listened to ‎the stories about people losing their lives because someone, whether it was the person killed or ‎someone in another vehicle, was using a cell phone while driving, I was convicted. And I thought ‎to myself, “That could’ve been me. I could’ve caused an injury or death at any time.” So I ‎acknowledge I’ve been fortunate. My angels have been looking out for me. But after that episode, ‎I promised I would never use my cell phone for anything as I drive.

To that end, I am signing Oprah’s No Phone Zone Pledge. It states the following:‎

I pledge to make my car a No Phone Zone. Beginning right now, I will do my part to help put an ‎end to distracted driving by not texting or using my phone while I am driving. I will ask other ‎drivers I know to do the same. I pledge to make a difference.

I know we are all busy. We try to cram as much into a day as possible, because there are ONLY 24 ‎hours in a day. But seriously, is phone use while driving really worth the lives we put at risk when ‎we engage in what Oprah calls “America’s New Deadly Obsession”? Is it worth your son or ‎daughter losing their mother or father? Is it worth losing the loved ones who ride with you each ‎day? Is it worth taking the life of someone’s daughter or son? Rhetorical. No need to answer.‎

Oh, by the way, check out this statistic: we are four times more likely to have an accident if driving and talk on our cell phones. That is the equivalent of a driving with a blood alcohol of .08, ‎the limit at which one is charged a DUI. Even worse, we are eight times more likely to have an ‎accident if we text while driving. ‎

Unfortunately, not too long after the episode aired, it was reported that a 19-year old man sending a text slammed into a telephone pole here in Atlanta.

Is it worth it?‎

Check out the show link here ‎at Oprah’s website.‎

So far, only over 76,000 drivers have signed the pledge. I’ve signed it. Will you?

(Actually, I shouldn’t be all that amazed. Email has become a vital method of communication in our offices and businesses as well as between our families and friends.)

Maybe I’m overreacting. After all, our daughter will be four years old this spring, and naturally she is increasingly interested in computers, particularly in viewing videos online (since her daddy and I spend a lot of time at the computer). I often think about how we’ll navigate that world with her as she begins elementary school in less than two years.

I was recently made aware of a PBS Frontline program that will air tonight entitled “Growing Up Online,” where “Frontline Investigates The Risks, Realities And Misconceptions Of Teen Life On The Internet.” And lest you think that the only concern is encountering sexual predators online, this program will also discuss “cyber-bullying” and achieving “instant ‘Internet fame’.”

Here are a few quotes from the program’s press release:

“Jessica Hunter was a shy and awkward girl who struggled to make friends at school. Then, at age 14, she reinvented herself online as ‘Autumn Edows,’ an alternative goth artist and model who posted provocative photos of herself on the Web, and fast developed a cult following. ‘I just became this whole different person,’ Jessica tells FRONTLINE. ‘I didn’t feel like myself, but I liked the fact that I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like someone completely different. I felt like I was famous.’”

“Through social networking sites, kids with eating disorders share tips about staying thin, and depressed kids can share information about the best ways to commit suicide.”

“John Halligan’s son was cyberbullied for months—first at school, then online—before he ultimately hanged himself just weeks into the start of eighth grade.”

Here is a preview video of the broadcast:

(If the video isn’t displayed, click here.)

Whether we’re parents, grandparents, teachers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, or mentors of young people, this should be of interest to all of us. What do you think? Are our children growing up too fast in this online world? What should be done about it? And do you plan to watch the program? (Note: the program will re-air several times and also appear online – according to pbs.org.)

“…there’s a saying I kinda remember: we spend our days worrying about the future, lamenting our pasts, ever forgetting our present. Sometimes I’ve found that the pain I remember evaporates as I allow the energy of joy into my heart. It’s not an easy time of it, but who ever said growing up was supposed to be easy (smile).”

Well, The New Parent, you’re right. It’s not easy. It’s not easy to remind myself that right smack in my present (and presence) are joys all around if I just take a second to look. And so, in addition to the comment above, I’d like to leave us with something Albert Einstein said,

That’s enough for me today…

What about you?

He was told, “Go…” He was to leave the unfamiliar.

“In leaving the unfamiliar, you will be blessed beyond what you can imagine. Oh, and by the way, because of you, others will be blessed as well.”

So he dared to go. He left the comforts of his homeland. That homeland – where the deer and the antelope play. That homeland – where seldom is heard a discouraging word.

And in the process, this man trusted God…

Sometimes. A little bit.

Except when he put his wife on the block – at least twice – to protect his own interests.

Except when he tried to usurp God’s plan to fulfill the promise He made to the man to bless him.

Really, all he did was live life. Trying the best he could to provide for his family. Trying the best he could to raise his children. He had his favorites, though.

But in all his many imperfections, foibles, and missteps, God still blessed him. Even late in his life.

He demonstrated “great” faith – only once that I know of. Late in his life.

Yet, God didn’t demand perfection.

He just asked him to “Go.” And he went.

As I thought about the wonderful comments that so many of you took the time to share with me over the past few days, I sat here and thought to myself, “I really am in a good place.” I started out uncomfortable not knowing in which direction to go. But here’s what I take away from the story I heard above. I don’t really need to know in which direction to go always. The psalmist said,

“Our steps are made firm by the Lord,
when He delights in our way;
though we stumble, we shall not fall headlong,
for the Lord holds us by the hand.” (Psalm 37:23-24)

(Thank you for the reminder, Blithe.)

I believe that’s what God did for the man in the story. God directed this man where to go. So clearly, God delighted in the man way some kind of way. Even when he stumbled. Even when he made mistakes. Even though he wasn’t perfect. God held him by the hand and ultimately, this man arrived at his destination.

God spoke through your comments. And he said, “It’s okay. Be in that spot. I will show you the way, through your husband, your daughter, your friends, your students, the clouds, the rainbows, the rain… It’s okay. You can just be. For I am holding you with My own hand.”

Thank you for allowing God to bless me through you (you know who you are).

Lisa Gates, author of the blog Design Your Writing Life compassionately commented on my post “Unsettledness,” and suggests I answer several questions. I’d like to begin by answering her first two questions as I seek to understand the direction in which I should go:

• What could you learn by staying in the unsettled place for a while?
• What is this unsettling trying to tell you?

I believe it will take a little courage to attempt to stay in this unsettled place as things unfold and clear up for me. I don’t say that arrogantly, as if, “KWiz, you’re so courageous!” It’s my nature to want things to have an explanation. But I’ve seen my husband live not having to explain everything or have everything make sense. In fact, that is what a life of faith is about – letting God have His way. And while, ultimately, He has had His way – which has resulted in so much tremendous goodness in my life – it’s not been easy to let go and let God orchestrate some things in my life. In fact, I’ll crack the door, peek out, and it is through those openings, I believe, God chooses to slip in and work. Why do I believe that? Jesus advised the people of a church that needed stern teaching and discipline in the book of Revelation:

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him…” (Revelation 3:20).

It’s been difficult for me to allow God to be God in my life. Yet, He’s been good, gracious, and generous. I need to trust that God will speak to me in my unsettled space, comfort me in that space, and lead me through and out when it is time.

So in response to Lisa’s question, “What is this unsettling trying to tell you?” I believe it’s trying to tell me to trust that no matter where I am, I am not alone (thank you, Camille). I am not alone in my…

DOUBT.

For some Christians, “doubt” carries connotations of the “4-letter word.” Like questioning God is a sin. I’m perfectly okay with it, though. God’s not struck me down yet. Because I believe it is in the doubt where one asks questions. And it is in the questioning that one gains insight and understanding. To me, to say you can’t or shouldn’t ask questions of God implies a bit of arrogance, and really, I can’t pretend I know a dash about God to say I know enough not to question. But in the less than a dash that I do know, He’s merciful, compassionate, loving. And He knows the doubt I have in my mind and heart. He’s not requiring perfect faith of me – or anyone else for that matter. And for that anyone else who wonders about questioning God, it’s okay. He expects the questions. He wants the questions. Will I always receive the answer I want? HA! Will I receive the answers I need? Most definitely – yes. And going back to the fact that I am not alone, very often, the answers come from the community of which I belong. And at the moment, Lisa, Camille, Anna, The New Parent, Paula, Susan, and last but not least, Manchild, are some of you who are “with me” in my unsettledness. Thank you.

As I’ve had the opportunity to think about these questions, I believe the last question Lisa asks me is very key:

• What if being unsettled is where the divine will meet up with you and show you the way?

I believe God waits for this. And I believe this to be true.

I believe God spoke to me through all of you. Thank you for being gracious vessels.

I hope those of you who are experiencing a similar state will find comfort in reflecting on Lisa’s questions.

Yes, I’m a bit unsettled.

I’m not quite comfortable with where I am right now. I’m about to be a stay-at-home mom for the summer. How in the world do women who do it full-time, all the time, actually do it? During the school year everyday, I drop my daughter off at daycare (which is on the campus of the school where I teach). I teach, discipline (right!), grade papers and tests, attend faculty and departmental meetings, and serve in other functions I’ve assigned myself at the school. Everyday. And when I (and sometimes my husband and I) pick up our daughter, I get to see the wonderful artwork she’s prepared at the hands of her wonderful teacher, get reports on how she never has a potty accident (she has been dry when she wakes up for the past couple of weeks!!!), and watch her run to me screaming because she’s excited to see me everyday when I pick her up after school.

She’s home for the summer. All day. Everyday. What do we do?

Now I not so clueless as not to know. Really. We have story time a couple times a day. I’ve actually decided to lose the 15-20 pounds this summer by taking her with me in the stroller on my walks each morning. But she won’t play with her toys by herself (she is an only child, and there aren’t children her age in the community in which we live, at least not that I’ve identified yet)!!!

So I’ve been researching what type of inexpensive activities are available for a three-year old to partake in. No. Activities I need for her to do outside of the house!!! I’ve got a plan. I may have found a place to take her a few times a week. That might just do it.

So I’m an unsettled mom.

I’m an unsettled teacher. Not particularly satisfied with my teaching this past year. I’ve determined I am going to work over the summer to revise my curricula, prepare in advance (didn’t have a chance to do that last year because I was taking care of my mother before she passed last summer), and be ready when the school year arrives in mid-August. Related to all this, I’ve got to prepare materials for my performance review this fall. Not a good year to do this, since I didn’t have the best of years. But it is giving me an opportunity to reflect a bunch.

I’m an unsettled teacher.

I’ve also decided that I’m going to put together a proposal to publish a supplement for a textbook I use in one of my courses. My first attempt at publishing! But even preparing the proposal seems to be a bit daunting.

I’m an unsettled would-be writer.

Let me not go on, because I’m unsettled in a variety of areas, and it’ll get a bit too personal.

I say all this to say that I’ve not been writing posts because, frankly, I’m unsettled. I’m especially unsettled because I feel my focus is a bit off. My area of specialty is Bible. I study scripture. I teach Old and New Testament. That’s what I do. Yet, I’ve not introduced it much on this blog. Why?

I’m trying to figure that out. I’m not a Bible-thumper. I don’t believe in beating people over the head with it. But I also know that God is real in my life. And I’m currently praying and seeking answers to the unsettledness I feel right now. It’s like I’m not where I’m supposed to be.

And as I read this, the unfocused nature of this post, I see my own unsettledness right before my eyes.

So excuse me as I try to figure it out. Posts will come. But I’m trying to figure out, in my heart, what they’re supposed to be about. What I’m supposed to share. What I am really supposed to communicate here.

Thanks for listening…reading, I should say. Comments are welcomed.

“People wish to be settled: only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Her dress is torn. In the back. It’s ripped. And she’s sad. Very sad. Like once she’s found out, she will never be loved again.

That pretty blue dress. It’s ruined. It can’t be repaired.

They’ll be angry. What will they do? What should she do?

Favorite #1 – Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!  Non-stop, never-ending, never-ceasing, email-driven, Blackberry-addicted, stressed-out, anxiety-ridden, and insomnia-laden…Do any of these compound adjectives describe anybody you know (of course, not you, and certainly not me!)?  For that person you know, Madena M. (whose mission in life is to encourage others to reach their fullest potential) at Soul To Soul provides a wonderful balm to soothe the savage trying to take over one’s soul in her post “What Are You Running From?”.

Favorite #2 – Here is a post by Jennifer Jones at Goodness Graciousness entitled “Losing Everything…And Surviving.”  It is one of those posts that helps to put things about life in perspective, at least for a moment.

Favorite #3 – Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant, M.P.H., writing at Cultivate Greatness states, “None of us wants to think of ourselves as toxic, and chances are, for the most part you are not. But there are certain times of our lives that all of us start to exhibit more noxious tendencies. If you’ve noticed any of the following signs, you may need to detoxify your life…”  Discover the signs and how you would go about flushing out the toxins poisoning your life in “Becoming A Non-Toxic Person.”  Don’t let that poison seep into the lives of those around you…

Favorite #4 – Chatty over at Chatty Crone discusses the importance of thinking about the miracles that occur around you each day in a post entitled…Well, it’s not titled.  A picture is truly worth a thousand words…

Favorite #5 – Now for a little humor.  For those of you who are teachers (and for those of you who aren’t), I highly recommend you read “Amazing Exam Papers” at The Barrister Blog.   Here you will find out what happens when students are clueless about concepts but have amazing creative ability.  For example, if by chance you ever wanted to discover how to use calculus to find the identity of Batman, you’ve found how to do it here.  Because I teach, this post is a little sad to me, but in a completely hilarious sort of way (sounds like there’s a little twistedness going on in my head, huh?).

That ends this week’s Five Favorites.   Let me know how you liked the posts.  And as always, please visit and comment on these blogs.  I know they’d love to hear from you (as would I!)!

I believe the media is doing exactly with our celebrities what my teenaged students are doing with their teachers – pounding our celebrities into the ground, further exacerbating the pain which they probably experience day to day.   Over at South Side Star, the author of this blog in today’s post presents the possibility that Britney Spears may be experiencing some postpartum depression which may be fueling her behavior.  In any event, it’s clear something is wrong.  Nobody behaves so bizarrely without something being inherently wrong.  But nobody is bothering to find out what it is.  It’s more fun to poke fun at people’s misfortunes.   As South Side Star so eloquently and truthfully states:

“Why does Western culture keep pushing its ‘virgin princesses’ over the edge — right into the volcano’s mouth? Or the arms of the beast? … Are we feeding the beasts, or the gods?

“Either way, they get swallowed whole. And we watch.”

A few of those same students to which I referred above said, “I don’t feel sorry for these celebrities who have all this money.  They deserve what they get.”  But I had to tell them we have no idea what kind of pain Britney or any other celebrity is going through.  I believe very much of what celebrities do to get attention is a cry for help – they just may not necessarily know it.  The loved ones of these celebrities need to love them enough to tell them the truth and get them the help they need before they go through the demise Anna Nicole Smith experienced.

Let’s stop feeding on the misfortunes of others just because they’re in the spotlight and really attempt to understand that we all experience heartaches, pain, and misfortune.  Would we want people to pick, poke, prod, and shine a huge spotlight at us in our misery?  Wouldn’t we want (at least maybe unconsciously) someone to pray for us and think well of us?  Wouldn’t we want to know someone loves us and cares for us?  While they may not know it, these celebrities need our prayers and well wishes.  Let’s try to get off our own high horses and do it for them.