I was watching a news program this past week that told the story of a town in which working, middle class families had to resort to standing in line to get groceries. Not at Kroger or Ingles or Publix or any other neighborhood grocery story. No, standing in a food line. The story told of one woman who had to quit her job because her income did not cover the gas, child support, and essential expenses she needed in order to sustain herself and her children. As I watched, I thought to myself, “That could be us.” At one point, that was Manchild.

Foreclosures are at an all-time high. Many people took out mortgages they could not afford. Many people had good intentions, taking out risky mortgages believing that in 2, 3, or 5 years their circumstances would change for the better and they’d be able to refinance their loans. Yet, the real estate market crashed, and so did the hopes and dreams of far too many homeowners who are now experiencing the devastation of losing their homes. As I write this, even celebrities are at risk. Watching these stories almost daily, I think to myself, “That could be us.” At one point, that was Manchild.

Overall, the credit markets are in a shambles, and the constituency who is bearing the brunt of the desolation are not just American consumers, but consumers of goods throughout the world. The causes of our economic situation are many. This is not meant to be a political commentary, yet personally, I trace what appears to be a crash of the American economy on poor policies and practices instituted and condoned by our current President. Moreover, big oil companies are pocketing increasing profits as the pocket books of American consumers become more empty each day. Wall Street gets bailed out while small businesses throughout the country have to fold because the cost of doing business continues to rise. At one point, that was Manchild.

We all know that things must change. Circumstances can’t change for the better fast enough. Based on daily news reports, however, times will get worse before they get better.

But there is something we can do. In seasons such as this, we can choose either to focus on what Manchild refers to in Steppin’ Out Of The Darkness as “the giants from the valley of Circumstance” or we can focus on “the Giver of Gifts” who can lift us up above them. While daily news reports may be bad – more than just figuratively – we may be embarking on a time in which God is forcing us, as Manchild says, to “…unearth the ‘forgotten dreams’ buried beneath the ‘abandoned visions’ still cluttering the ‘valley of sun-dried bones.’” In other words, what dreams and visions about your own destiny have you abandoned because Adversity struck once, twice, ten, twenty, or fifty times in your life? Might this be a time when you may need to discover “the reasons why you…fear what follows seasons of Change”? Manchild did it…why not you?

Steppin’ Out Of The Darkness is “a message of encouragement for seasons such as this.” A season in which God may be forcing you to “face your fears” and allow the dreams and visions He placed within you to finally become birthed. And as you allow those dreams and visions to become born again, expect “the ‘Giver of Gifts’ to do the unexpected when least expected.” The world needs you to overcome your own fears and embrace Change as we all face our own “giants from the valley of Circumstance. Will you begin your journey today?

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind,
of what, then, is an empty desk?”
–Albert Einstein 

For this article, Jim Auchmutey of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution interviewed Eric Freedman, one of the authors of the book, A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder–How Crammed Closets, Cluttered Offices, and On-the-Fly Planning Make the World a Better Place.  Freedman states,

“…we’d all be better off worrying less about neatness and order.”

When asked about the state of Einstein’s desk, Freedman says,

“Einstein had a fantastically messy desk. I spend a lot of time walking through the halls of academia, and I can tell you there’s a strong correlation between how spectacular someone’s mess is and how successful they are as a professor.”

Finally, there is a sidebar at the end of the article (it’s difficult to determine whether Freedman or Auchmutey, the AJC writer, penned this sidebar) which reads, ”What messy can do for you” featuring four famous men.  For example, with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s photo comes the caption, “The California governor hates making appointments and has pretty much winged his whole career.”  But the caption of one of the other men he features (again, including photo) states:

“…if it’s neat you want…history’s ultimate neat freak:  Adolf Hitler.”

What a way to end a supposedly informative, possibly persuasive article…

I’ve not ever been the neatest person in the world.  In fact, I was pretty much a slob growing up.  It took me getting married to get my act together.  When my desk at school is a mess, I can get nothing done.  When my desk is cluttered, I feel cluttered.  I am unproductive.  I spend more than the nine minutes Freedman says is the average time looking for things on my desk.  I feel like crap when my house is messy.  I can’t stand to go to the kitchen and see very many dirty dishes in my sink – I get irritated at myself if I don’t wash the dishes and I come into the kitchen only to see the dishes saying, “Wash me, wash me!”  Lots of clutter, in my mind, causes chaos (literally).

The AJC article elicited a few comments from readers.  HGTV regular Monica Ricci remarked,

“I have addressed this book in my blog, and hope Mr. Freedman can accept that there is indeed a fraction of the population who loves, and indeed thrives in extreme chaos. However, most people who live in chaos DO desire to improve their life results and happiness, which is why the professional organizing industry was born. We organizers are in business to help people change their lives by changing their internal and external environments, not by judging or shaming.”

Thank you, Monica.

And John at MightyBargainHunter.com provides “Sixteen Ways Being Disorganized Costs You Money.”  Five of those ways include:

1. Extra trips to the store
2. Spoiled food
3. Buying things you already have
4. Dining out a lot
5. Huge amounts of lost productivity

That list is all too familiar to me.  Before I got married, I ate out everyday because I didn’t wash my dishes too often.  (When I was working corporate, my favorite restaurant was Houston’s.  They had this fantastic Grilled Chicken Salad with mandarin oranges and this wonderful peanut dressing.  Is that still on the menu?).  I’d frequently forget where something was and buy a replacement, only to find it later on.  Looking for bills, important papers, and books took time.  And when I decided I was going to do a good cleaning, it took half the day!  Productivity down the drain!  I could’ve been working out or something!

For me, a little neatness makes for more peace in my soul.  Instead of thinking that having an empty desk means one’s mind is empty (as Einstein’s quote above “explicitly implies,” I prefer what Monica Ricci recently posted on her blog: 

“One of the side benefits to being organized is that you find you have the mental space to wonder about stuff.”

How do you process clutter?  Does it help you think?  Does it hinder you?  Do you find yourself to be more productive — or less?  

A better indicator might be, “How long does it take you to find your car keys when you have someplace to go — immediately!”  Maricar’s “Keeping the Castle” addressed this in “January Is Get Organized Month…Or Not”:

“Yes, being organized saves more time than having to hunt for one’s keys for 10 minutes every single day. Surely a reasonably clean home contributes to a feeling of well-being and relaxation. Yet freaking out over every little Cheerio on the carpet is too much. Especially if, with every crumb that’s picked up, three more get added to the pile.”

  Balance, balance, balance…

As I heard the network news reports and read the New York Times article, it seemed the media presented only one side of the story.  And if I were still single, the story would seem bleak if I were interested in getting married someday.  Some of the findings from the article include:

1. On average, Americans now spend half their adult lives outside marriage
2. Women are less dependent on men or the institution of marriage
3. For many older boomer and senior women…marriage did not hold the promise they’d hoped for
4. Most girls growing up today can look forward to spending more of their lives outside of a traditional marriage

The article featured several single women, including why they were single and how they felt about it, whether it was because they had never been married or were divorced (while the article briefly mentioned those who were widowed, they did not feature any women who fit that category).  Generally, these women spoke of freedom, independence, and flexibility as factors in remaining single, even if they had the option to marry.  I don’t know. It seems that the media is focused on traditional marriage falling out of disfavor in American society and the state of a declining marriage institution as being normal and desired. 

The report further states, “[b]etween 1950 and 2000, the share of women 15-24 who were married plummeted to 16 percent, from 42 percent.  Among 25-34 year olds, the proportion dropped to 58 percent, from 82 percent.”  But there is another side to the story.  Although the proportion has declined over the years, 49% of women are married (for some, this indicates the glass is half full, not half empty).  Indeed, some of these marriages are happy ones.  Nevertheless, how do couples stay married and fulfilled? And since the article mentioned benefits of being single (from several women’s points of view), what are the benefits to being married?  

According to the July/August 2004 edition of Spirituality & Health magazine in an article entitled “His and Her Marriage Benefits”, “Happily married women…have healthier profiles than divorced or unhappily married women,” citing physical benefits to being married.  There are some financial benefits as well.  Zen Personal Finance blog finds the following:

“According to Laura Rowley of Yahoo Finance, ‘Economist Jay Zagorsky of OSU’s Center for Human Resource Research, tracked the financial and marital status of more than 9,000 people from 1985 to 2000.  Married people amassed an astonishing 93 percent more than single or divorced people over the 15-year period.’”

The financial rewards of marriage abound!

Moreover, loving marriages have significant benefits for those whose spouses have passed away.  According to Spirituality & Health (May/June 2005) in an article entitled “A Loving Marriage Outlasts Death; Alas, So Does a Lousy One,”

“A good marriage seems to have a protective impact on surviving spouses…”  In fact, depression is less likely to have a profound impact on a surviving spouse in the case of a loving marriage.

Well, then, if we’re married (as I am), how do we remain happily married?”  Many books and resources exist on marriage and how to do it.  I discovered one (there are so many) that was straight and to the point.  The last article to which I will refer comes, again, from Spirituality & Health (Winter 2002) in an article entitled “Happy Couples: Don’t Hate ‘Em, Join ‘Em” which reports that happy couples: 

• Are committed to building long-lasting relationships based on shared visions and goals
• Are aware of the changing nature of relationships
• Support each other’s continued growth as individuals
• Create time for each other despite busy schedules
• Are blunt, honest, and direct in their communication
• Are unafraid of conflict, viewing fights (yes, they have them) as opportunities to grow
• Still have great sex, because their physical attraction and passion for each other haven’t diminished, and their sex lives get better as their relationship deepens with love, trust, and openness

So, is there another side to the story?  I am, by no means, an expert; I’ve been married only six years and I’ve got a long way to go.  Nevertheless, I choose to look at the glass as being half full. 

How do you view the institution of marriage?  Is it dead?  Is it on its last leg?  Or is it that the media spins its data to generate conflict and controversy?  It definitely gets the conversation started.  Let me know what you think…