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What Are We Teaching Our Children?
By KWiz | May 6, 2007
My daughter will be 3 years old on May 20th. I am so excited! I see her personality developing each day, her sense of independence, her vocabulary – it’s so incredibly amazing!
My husband and I try to teach our daughter how to make good choices. Even though she is (and will be) an only child, we refuse to allow her to grow up being a spoiled brat. I don’t think it is proper for a child to get everything under the sun just to get her to do what she should do, or learn how to do.
We also teach her how valuable she is. As a Black girl, she will encounter ignorance in her lifetime, most likely sooner rather than later (I know – both my husband and I experienced it at a young age), because while we are more aware of diversity in our society, we’ve not arrived. So we teach her how great she is because there will be those who will disrespect her and try to impose their ignorance upon her. She will know the truth so she can learn to handle the disrespect. I’m not trying to be negative here; I’m a realist, though. Could I be wrong, though? I hope so.
When children don’t learn how to respect others for their differences, terrible things can happen. We saw evidence of that recently with the killings at Virginia Tech. Please understand, this is not another post about that incident. It was (and still is) an important moment in our history – no doubt. I don’t wish to rehash it. Nevertheless, it’s so important for each of us to understand the importance of respecting others. And it’s incredibly important for parents to teach their children how to respect others. We can see what happens when 1) children are disrespected over their lifetime, and 2) when children aren’t taught to handle the pain which happens as a result of disrespect. And unfortunately, I see everyday that many children aren’t learning these important lessons.
Nevertheless, Gayla McCord at Supernanny Rules offered a poignant post a few weeks ago entitled “Things We Should Teach Our Children” that you absolutely must read (I’m just now getting caught up on my comments and reading). Please read Gayla’s post. She stresses the importance of teaching our children to respect others. And when you read it, please share it with others.
Thank you, Gayla, for sharing your heart.
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Topics: Learning/Education, Parenting, Personal Development, Race "Matters", Relationships, Spiritual Growth | 13 Comments »
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May 6th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
KWiz ~ Thanks so much for passing on the link and helping me share Tony’s story.
May 6th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Gayla, I felt I had to share your story. That’s what we’re here for…
May 7th, 2007 at 7:24 am
the only thing i would disagree with here is the idea that these are things we need to teach our TEENS. i’m finding it necessary to teach my three year old some of those lessons, particularly the bit about not always winning and delaying gratification. i shudder to think what life would be like in 10 years if i were only just then starting to explain that she can’t always get what she wants!
May 7th, 2007 at 8:39 am
phaenix_ash, I agree with you. My daughter is almost three years old, and we’ve been teaching her NOW that she can’t always get what she wants when she wants it. It seems we’re coddling our kids so much so that when they don’t win at anything, they don’t know how to handle it. They can’t handle failure well. And it’s terrible for a child not to learn that lesson early – that it’s okay not to win all the time. Because surely, that’s not the reality.
May 7th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I’m headed over there to read it now.
May 7th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Fabulous post!
I agree it’s important to teach out children to respect not only themselves but others. I teach that to my daughter and my mentees.
My daughter was born on May 21st. S She will be four years old. She’s mixed (Black, Indian, & Irish) I’m sure she will encounter ignorance.
May 9th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Yes, and it’s good to remember that God gives us the ability to do spiritual battle with any enemy attempting to gain foothold in our families or our children’s lives.
Cho’s mom believed he was under some kind of dark influence and tried to get help from the church. I pray other mothers know the victory we have in Christ to overcome these demons of hate.
May 11th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
Hi Kwiz–
I would agree, that respect for their parents, themselves and others is crucial. What I’ve observed is that little ones don’t make much note of differences between themselves and their peers. They are taught that and then as they get older, spread it through the peer group.
Our goal may be to guide our children to a better attitude so that they spread a greater acceptance of each other. In this way, a lttle at a time, we parents–through our kids–can change this world.
Happy, happy Birthday to your precious one.
May 13th, 2007 at 2:04 am
Hello The Raw & The Cooked,
Happy Birthday to your little one coming up! While your daughter will encounter ignorance in her lifetime, the great thing is we know how to equip our children with the skills on how to address the ignorance!
May 13th, 2007 at 2:06 am
Hi Paula,
I agree with you. I do think that dark influences can affect what we do. Unfortunately, the church can sometimes do more harm than good if they’re not careful. It’s happened. And it’s been tragic.
May 13th, 2007 at 2:10 am
Hi The New Parent,
I agree with you. It’s our job as parents to “guide” them. I remember several months ago my daughter made reference to “a Black man.” I asked her (like she’d know what to tell me) who she heard that from, because my husband nor I had taught her the distinctions in skin color. I found it a bit disconcerting that she heard it from someone other than her parents. Yet, we’ve been trying to teach her how beautiful she is without making distinctions (if that makes any sense). She doesn’t have to feel put down just because her skin’s a different color. This is what we’re trying to teach her!
March 15th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I agree with your article but the problem is a lot of parents don’t take the time and effort to teach these things to their kids because they are either “too busy” or they are simply neglectful. So your kids have to deal with those type of kids. I’m surprised schools, at least the ones I went to, never really talked about respecting your peers and diversity. Since some parents fail, we need our education system to teach some of these kids.
September 18th, 2008 at 4:20 am
Really i would love to share this article with my friends as well as my family, Such a nice one to read and also i hope every one gets some good stuffs from your article…
Thanks for the post!!!