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Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 2)

By KWiz | April 9, 2007

(If you are new here and you are interested in this study, please page down to the “Article Series” link below, or “Women Who Run With The Wolves” in the Category section in the sidebar to the right to view previous reflections.)

Finding That Intuition (Part 2)

As I stated in the last article in this series, “Oh, how I’ve been waiting to get to this place!” Please click here if you haven’t read the story of Vasalisa (upon which this chapter is based).

I found this story to be very sweet, yet complexingly strong and slightly intimidating. After the conclusion of the story of Vasalisa, Dr. Estes begins her analysis saying,

“Vasalisa is a story of handing down the blessing on women’s power of intuition from mother to daughter, from one generation to the next. This great power, intuition, is composed of lightning-fast inner seeing, inner hearing, inner sensing, and inner knowing.”

The analysis of this tale is very straightforward, very easy to understand. It consists of nine tasks for women to complete to regain the intuitive nature, to regain the ability and “skill” to reset that instinctual power that enables us to walk through life with clear thinking and powerful knowing of not only what’s inside, but what’s outside as well. In this post, we’ll take a look at the first five of those tasks. We’ll complete this chapter’s study by completing the remaining four tasks next week.

Task #1 - Allowing the Too-Good Mother to Die - The activities which must be taken on in this stage include:

“Accepting that the ever-watchful, hovering, protective psychic mother is not adequate as a central guide for one’s future instinctual life…Taking on the task of being one’s own, developing one’s own consciousness about danger, intrigue, politic. Becoming alert by oneself, for oneself. Letting die what must die…”

In this first stage of reclaiming one’s intuition, we, as females, must grow up. We must grow more astute, more aware, viewing the world with our eyes wide-open instead of our mothers doing it for us. This is the ideal for all young girls moving into adolescence. Nevertheless, this growth process may not have occurred for some girls because of:

• Psychological hardship early in one’s life
• Continuing influence from the overprotective mother
• Not enough of the mother’s good influence

I know early in my own life, I didn’t get a sense of who I really was from my parents. I didn’t get the sense that I was pretty enough or good enough. That’s not to say my parents didn’t love me; but they really didn’t have a good sense of who they, themselves, were as human beings. So I wasn’t affirmed as a beautiful, smart young lady who didn’t have to settle for hound dogs. Moreover, my mother (father too) didn’t teach me how to make good decisions. Although she always bragged on me to her friends about how nice I was, the only advice my mother gave me regarding how to make decisions was “Just don’t get pregnant.” The decision to make there was to eventually start birth control. But what did that decision do for me? No, I didn’t get pregnant. But that wasn’t the point. What was I supposed to look for in boys? How were they supposed to treat me? How was I supposed to act in their presence? I’m not making excuses here; I’m just saying that I understand how this process of intuition development can be stunted and arrested - it was in me. (This will NOT happen to my daughter.)

Nevertheless, it is necessary for women “to let die the values and attitudes within the psyche which no longer sustain her. Especially to be examined are those long-held tenets which make life too safe, which overprotect, which make women walk with a scurry instead of a stride.” As women, we must

“…set for (ourselves) a something in life that (we) are willing to reach for and therefore take risks for. It is through this process that (we) sharpen (our) intuitive powers.”

Task #2 - Exposing the Crude Shadow - In this stage, the following activities are important (but check the chapter to get a complete listing):

“…Experiencing directly one’s own shadow nature, particularly the exclusionary, jealous, and exploitative aspects of self [and] [a]cknowledging these unequivocally. Making the best relationship one can with the worst parts of oneself…Ultimately working toward letting the old self die and the new intuitive self be born.”

This task is related to the role of the stepmother and stepsisters in the story. In this stage of initiation of the intuitive life, these “family members” represent

“…aspects of oneself which are considered by the ego to be undesirable or not useful and are therefore relegated to the dark…They enter as a chorus of unredeemed hags who taunt, ‘You can’t do it. You’re not good enough. You’re not bold enough. You’re stupid, insipid, vacant. You don’t have time. You’re only good for simple things. You’re only allowed to do this much and no more. Give up while you’re ahead.’”

Oh, this so resonates with me. But what really hit a nerve in the story was the father’s response to the stepmother and stepsisters’ ill-will toward his daughter - NOTHING! As Dr. Estes notes, “…the father of the psyche doesn’t notice the hostile environment…and has no intuitive development himself.” I know all about this - my father is highly naive, and as Dr. Estes remarks,

“It is interesting to note that daughters who have naive fathers often take far longer to awaken.”

I’ve suffered the consequences of having a father who didn’t teach me what I know my husband is intent on teaching our daughter. If there are any men and fathers reading this post, please, please, please,

FATHERS, PLEASE DON’T CRIPPLE YOUR DAUGHTERS BY REMAINING NAIVE AND UNKNOWING. TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTERS, TEACH YOUR DAUGHTERS, LOVE YOUR DAUGHTERS BY TELLING THEM THE TRUTH!!!

In spite of her stepmother’s and stepsisters’ ill-intent, Vasalisa tries her best to remain nice and accomodating. She submits and complies to their requests in the midst of their oppression of her. After awhile,

“the stepwomen so squeeze the burgeoning psyche that through their machinations the fire goes out. At this point a woman begins to lose her psychic bearings. She may feel cold, alone, and willing to do anything to bring back the light again…Vasalisa, like us, needs some guiding light that will differentiate for her what is good for her and what is not…Women who try to make their deeper feelings invisible are deadening themselves. The fire goes out…”

But for many,

“…when the fire is put out, it helps to snap Vasalisa out of her submission. It causes her to die to an old way of life and to step with shivers into a new life, one which is based on an older, wiser kind of inner knowing.”

I’m there! I’m with her! So now, on to the next task…

Task #3 - Navigating in the Dark - some of the activities necessary in this stage include:

“Learning to develop sensitivity as regards direction to the mysterious unconscious and relying solely on one’s inner senses…Learning to feed intuition…”

Before she died, Vasalisa’s mother passed on to Vasalisa a doll (you’ve got to read the story!). This doll represents “the inner spirit of us as women; the voice of inner reason, inner knowing, inner consciousness…It is our helper which is not seeable, per se, but which is always accessible.” And according to Dr. Estes, this is so important for daughters as,

“There is no greater blessing a mother can give her daughter than a reliable sense of the veracity of her own intuition. Intuition is handed from parent to child in the simplest ways: ‘You have good judgment. What do you think lies hidden behind all this?’”

This statement was revelatory to me. My parents didn’t do this for me; yet, my husband and I do this for our daughter when we say, “You make good choices” when she actually does, or just in the course of our daily activities.

But intuition must be fed. And how do we feed our intuition?

“…[B]y listening to it and acting upon its advice…it is like the muscles in the body. If a muscle is not used, eventually it withers. Intuition is exactly like that: without food, without employment, it atrophies…but with exercise it will come back and become fully manifested.”

“We, like Vasalisa, strengthen our bond with our intuitive nature by listening inwardly at every turn in the road. ‘Should I go this way, or this way? Should I stay or go? Should I resist or be flexible? Should I run away or toward? Is this person, event, venture true or false?’”

Well, we’ve taken a lot in with the first three tasks. This post is longer than I intended in examining the first three tasks. So instead of reviewing the first five tasks, I’m going to cut it off here for this week. I think there is much to reflect upon here, and so I’d like to continue to do over the next several days. Next week, we’ll examine the next three tasks (if you’ve been reading along in the book, you know what the tasks are; if not, you’ll have to get the book or just wait!!!) in reclaiming our intuition.

What do you think? Where are you in your reclamation process? Have you made it? Have you arrived? If so, let us know how you did it. If you’re still on the journey, share with us how you’re making it along the way.

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Topics: "Women Who Run With The Wolves", Health and Wellness, Personal Development, Relationships, Spiritual Growth |

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