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Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 3)
By KWiz | March 19, 2007
(If you are new here and you are interested in this study, please page down to the “Article Series” link below to view prior reflections.)
The Quest for the Wild Woman
Last week in our reflection, we discussed four key questions we must begin with as we seek to reconstruct and reclaim ourselves as women. Those questions are fraught with difficulty; indeed, the questions in and of themselves may cause one to be taken aback with confusion, maybe even fear. Dr. Estes does not pretend this is easy work at all, though, and she encourages us all, affirming,
“The deepest work is usually the darkest. A brave woman, a wisening woman, will develop the poorest psychic land, for if she builds only on the best land of her psyche, she will have for a view the least of what she is. So do not be afraid to investigate the worst. It only guarantees increase of soul power through fresh insights and opportunities for re-visioning one’s life and self anew.”
It is this type of work where we
“…ultimately are able to break the old patterns of ignorance, by being able to behold a horror and not look away. [We] are able to see, and to stand what [we] see.”
This is where I’ve fought for years. I haven’t been able to look within and honestly see the ugly for what it is and be able to take it, to accept that it’s there and not beat myself over the head because of it. Upon reading that quote above, my soul sighed out of relief because I realized that I didn’t have to run away from it anymore. That I could look at that which is offensive inside and accept it for what it is. For those who are struggling with this, Dr. Estes offers us the following:
“If a woman does not look into these issues of her own deadness and murder, she remains obedient to the dictates of the predator…[But] Now that she see this, now that she registers how captured she is and how much psychic life is at stake, now she can assert herself in an even more powerful manner.”
So what we are doing is what Dr. Estes refers to as
“planning our escapes…whether from an old destructive mode, a lover, or a job…she is trying to rouse energy to overwhelm the captor, whether that specifically or in combination by a destructive religion, husband, family, culture, or a woman’s negative complexes.”
(I personally identify with those “negative complexes.”)
But how do we plan this “escape”? How do we rid ourselves of the negativity within, no matter what its source? Dr. Estes puts it this way:
“Instead of reviling the predator of the psyche, or running away from it, we dismember it. We accomplish this by not allowing ourselves divisive thoughts about our soul-life and our worth in particular. We capture invidious thoughts before they become large enough to do any harm, and we dismantle them.
“We dismantle the predator by countering its diatribes with our own nurturant truths. Predator: ‘You never finish anything you start.’ Yourself: ‘I finish many things.’ We dismantle the assaults of the natural predator by taking to heart and working with what is truthful in what the predator says and then discarding the rest.
“Women find that as they vanquish the predator, taking from it what is useful and leaving the rest, they are filled with intensity, vitality, and drive.”
I was encouraged and enlivened reflecting on Dr. Estes’ advice. There’s much to consider, but I no longer feel like I have to dread it.
It is at this point in Chapter 2 that Dr. Estes speaks of “The Dark Man in Women’s Dreams.” I didn’t get a good handle on this section because she describes the dark man dream as if a woman would have this type of dream in only one way. I’ve never had the type of dream she conveys here, so I’ve been having a hard time with this part of the chapter.
In essence, though, having a dream about “the dark man” can signal a woman is dealing with the predator and she needs to do something. Nevertheless, that something isn’t always related to one’s soul, necessarily. It could relate “a message about the threatening aspects of the culture one lives in, whether it be a small but brutal culture at the office, one within their own family, the lands of their neighborhood, or as wide as their own religious or national culture.” If, in fact, the dream is related to these types of cultural issues, “key” questions need to be asked again, such as, “What stands behind these proscriptions I see in the outer world? What goodness or usefulness of the individual, of the culture, the earth, of human nature has been killed, or lies dying here?” Dr. Estes, continues by saying,
“As these issues are examined, the woman is enabled to act according to her own abilities, according to her own talents. To take the world into one’s arms and to act toward it in a soul-filled and soul-strengthening manner is a powerful act…”
But a woman might excuse herself from such acts, whether toward the world or toward oneself, saying,
“I’m not talented. I’m not important. I’m not educated. I have no ideas. I don’t know how. I don’t know what. I don’t know when. And the most scurrilous of all: I don’t have time.”
What does a woman do? As stated above, dismantle the predator.
To summarize this chapter:
“In the Bluebeard story we see how a woman who falls under the spell of the predator rouses herself and escapes him, wiser for the next time. The story is about transformation of four shadowy introjects which are in particular contention for women: have no integrity of vision, have no deep insight, have no original voice, have no decisive action. In order to banish the predator, we must unlock or pry ourselves and other matters open to see what is inside. We must use our abilities to stand what we see. We must speak our truth in a clear voice. And we must be able to use our wits to do what need be about what we see.”
There is much to think about here. We’ll go on to Chapter 3, “Nosing Out the Facts: The Retrieval of Intuition as Initiation” next week. However, I want to take this chapter slowly since I’m still chewing on Chapter 2. Next week, I’ll present the story associated with Chapter 3 before we move forward.
Any thoughts, questions, ideas, issues? I’d love to hear them!!!
Article Series - Women Who Run With The Wolves - Reflections
- Reclaiming Ourselves - Women Who Run With The Wolves
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - “Singing Over The Bones” (Introduction)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 1 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 1 (Part 2)
- That Wild Woman! Well…
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 3)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 3)
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Topics: "Women Who Run With The Wolves", Health and Wellness, Personal Development, Relationships, Spiritual Growth |
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- That Wild Woman! Well…
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 1 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 1)
March 19th, 2007 at 8:28 am
Hi! I enjoy reading this series. BTW, you’re tagged for a meme over at my blog.
March 19th, 2007 at 10:37 am
Very thought-provoking. I need to re-read this a few times!!
March 19th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Ooohh…I feel that way, like I’ve awakened to see the truth.
I used to put people in the place where only God should be. And know that I know Jesus really is at the center, it kind of puts all things in perspective.
March 20th, 2007 at 12:18 am
Hi Laura,
I’m glad you’re enjoying the series. It’s a bit challenging, but it’s been so helpful to me.
Thanks for the tag!
March 20th, 2007 at 12:19 am
Hi Rachel,
There’s a lot in this post, almost too much I think. But if you can, make sure you purchase the book. It’s such an incredible read. Dr. Estes is a cross between academic and “self-help” - for me, it’s a nice blend.
I’m glad you’re thinking about it though! See you soon!
March 20th, 2007 at 12:20 am
Hi Paula,
I’m glad you’re getting something out of this study. Thanks for coming back and giving me your feedback!