« My Husband Said It! | Home | Dreams Deferred? »
Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 2)
By KWiz | March 12, 2007
The Quest For The Wild Woman
In the last article in our series of “Women Who Run With The Wolves” reflections, I suggested we continue with asking ourselves the questions we need to ask ourselves in order to reclaim ourselves. Before we get into that discussion, however, I need to backtrack a bit.
If you read the story of Bluebeard, you know that the husband goes away on an extended trip. Before he leaves, he encourages his wife to invite her sisters to stay with her while he is gone, and gives his young wife a set of keys which opens all the doors in the three-story castle in which they live. He suggests that she can do anything she wants to do and open any door to the 100 rooms inside the castle she wants. But there is one key he tells her she cannot use, and gives no reason why.
The young wife and her sisters open all the doors with the keys her husband gave to her. But there was one last door with one last key. And they decided to use that key to open that last door. When they opened the door, they discovered its darkness inside. Once they lit a candle to discover what was inside, they were aghast,
“…for in the room was a mire of blood and the blackened bones of corpses were flung about and skulls were stacked in corners like pyramids of apples.
They slammed the door shut, shook the key out of the lock, and leaned against one another gasping, breasts heaving. My God! My God!”
As I re-read Dr. Estes’ analysis this past week, I realized I didn’t fully “get it” the first time. Bluebeard gives his young wife a set of keys, all except one which opens that which is superficial. These keys and doors represent being, as Dr. Estes explains,
“…too easily lured with promises of ease, of lilting enjoyment, of various pleasures, be they promises of elevated status in the eyes of her family, her peers, or promises of increased security, eternal love, high adventure, or hot sex.”
Bluebeard’s admonition not to use the forbidden key to open that last door represents, as Dr. Estes further expounds, represents,
“…the one key that would bring her to consciousness. To forbid a woman to use the key to conscious self knowledge strips her intuitive nature, her natural instinct for curiosity that leads her to discover ‘what lies beneath’ and beyond the obvious.”
What does the door represent which the key opens?
“The door in the tale is portrayed as a psychic barrier…Women strengthen this barrier or door when they discourage themselves or one another from thinking or diving too deeply…”
But what is behind the door? It was at this point that I got a fuller understanding that the blood, the bones of corpses, the skulls represent the “devastations of [a woman's] life…the loss of life’s energy.” Specifically, as Dr. Estes interprets it,
“When women open the doors of their own lives and survey the carnage there in those out-of-the-way places, they most often find they have been allowing summary assassinations of their most crucial dreams, goals, and hopes. They find lifeless thoughts and feelings and desires; ones which were once grateful and promising but now are drained of blood. Whether these hopes and dreams be about desire for relationship, desire for an accomplishment, a success, or a work of art, when such a gruesome discovery is made in one’s psyche, we can be sure the natural predator…has been at work methodically destroying a woman’s most cherished desires, concerns, and aspirations.”
This is the point when during my re-read that I got my “a-ha!” It was at this point that I really began to understand, deep within, what the carnage behind the door represented, and the fact that the door as a barrier is reinforced through my own thoughts and actions. I had dreams, hopes, and goals that I’ve pushed away, that I’ve allowed to die. The problem for me, though, is recovering much of that. In other words, it’s been so long that I’ve had these aspirations that they’re unrecognizable in some sense. As it is difficult to identify a corpse, as it is difficult to know what bone goes where, it is also difficult to reconstruct those dreams and goals. Nevertheless, I must do it. This is where I’ve been reflecting much of this past week.
So how do we reconstruct and reclaim? By asking those questions Dr. Estes suggests we ask of ourselves? We must ask ourselves four questions:
- What stands behind the door?
- What is not as it appears?
- What do I know deep within my soul and spirit that I wish I did not know?
- What of me has been killed, or lays dying?
These are difficult questions. But we must “ask any and all questions about oneself, about one’s family, one’s endeavors, and about life all around” if we are to restrain the predator, stop the killing of our souls, and move forth into being the women God called us to be. I’m intentionally going through that process as we speak. I’m hoping it won’t take me too long.
I realize it’s taking me a long time to get through this chapter, but I’d like to spend one more week here. While you are discovering for yourselves “what’s behind the door,” asking the four essential questions Dr. Estes presents, I’d like to complete this chapter next week by examining the clues we receive that signals something is wrong within our souls. Those clues, as Dr. Estes suggests, comes in the form of dreams.
Thanks for indulging me in this chapter’s study. Let me know what you think, where you are, and how you’re doing with the study.
Article Series - Women Who Run With The Wolves - Reflections
- Reclaiming Ourselves - Women Who Run With The Wolves
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - “Singing Over The Bones” (Introduction)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 1 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 1 (Part 2)
- That Wild Woman! Well…
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 3)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 3)
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Topics: "Women Who Run With The Wolves", Health and Wellness, Personal Development, Relationships, Spiritual Growth |
Related Articles
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 1 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 3)
- Being Comfortable In An “Unsettled” Place
March 12th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
The whole time I read your post I was likening the husband forbidding his wife to open that last door to God forbidding Adam and Even from eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
Then when the tempation was seemingly to great to resist, the woman (just like Adam and Eve) opened the door to death — or, the fall of man.
Funny, heh?
How we can all interpret the same thing different ways.
Hmm…now what’s behind my door and what does it mean?
I must meditate on this…
March 12th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
Hi Paula!
Interesting that we can interpret things differently.
I prayed about my door last night. As I laid in bed knowing that my alarm was going to go off 4 hours later, God spoke to my heart and revealed some of what was behind the door. I wanted to sleep so badly, but it was like the Spirit said, “You asked for it. I’ve giving it to you NOW!” I had to get up, grab my journal, and begin writing. Great revelation! I’m still meditating on it - I haven’t gotten to it fully, but I’m on my way!
March 19th, 2007 at 12:44 am
[...] - Chapter 1 (Part 2)That Wild Woman! Well…Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 1) Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 2)Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 3)(If you are new here and you are interested in [...]
April 10th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
This, I think, is where the really hard work begins. It’s so much easier to pretend the door and all that lays behind it does not exist, isn’t it?
For me, it is my innocence and joy that lays grievously wounded, my sense of fun and intimacy, my ability to laugh and play, to be authentically happy. A series of bad choices, unfortunate circumstances, and a sense of hopelessness about the future brought me here and while some of my life may be healed in time, I find myself in a less than ideal situation to do that healing. The truth is that I NEVER expected to live as long as I did let alone bring a child into this world. I find myself trying to build a future for her on a rather shakey foundation full of past mistakes. It’s in emotional, spiritual work like this that I can at least attempt to shore up the ramparts and give her a better chance and role model than I had.
April 10th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Hi phaenix_ash!
Thank you for sharing this. What you describe that lies behind the door is exactly what is behind mine…I just couldn’t find the words for what I was trying to articulate - and it’s right there. The difference is that I would have short periods of hopelessness instead of long periods. I am fortunate that I am married to a wonderful man who understands emotional healing, so as messy as it has been for me that past few years, he has graciously been there for me and with me.
What was incredible to me is to read this: “The truth is that I NEVER expected to live as long as I did let alone bring a child into this world.” I don’t know what you’ve experienced in your lifetime, but this much I do know - the very fact that you are here and brought a child in the world is truly a blessing from God. I don’t know where you are spiritually, but for me, that means you have incredible purpose here in this world, and raising your daughter to help her be all that God has called her to be is one of those purposes. I would say your foundation isn’t necessarily shaky; but it just is, and you’re rebuilding now. We can always regret our mistakes, but we can’t take them back. We can only move forward, and you’re definitely providing a good model for your daughter in doing so.
Thank you so much for sharing and for helping me to see more of what I need to reclaim.