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Women Who Run With The Wolves - “Singing Over The Bones” (Introduction)
By KWiz | February 5, 2007
How Wild Are You?
I’m excited! Today begins our first day in our study of Women Who Run with the Wolves
“Wildlife and the Wild Woman are both endangered species.
Over time, we have seen the feminine instinctive nature looted, driven back, and overbuilt. For long periods it has been mismanaged liek the wildlife and the wildlands. For several thousand years, as soon and as often as we turn our backs, it is relegated to the poorest land in the psyche. The spiritual lands of Wild Woman have, throughout history, been plundered or burnt, dens bulldozed, and natural cycles forced into unnatural rhytms to please others.”
Yes, and what a great way to begin…
This first chapter was insightful for me for a number of reasons:
Insight #1
I discovered the characteristics which should be a part of who I am as a woman deep inside. Dr. Estes states,
“Healthy wolves and healthy women share certain psychic characteristics: keen sensing, playful spirit, and a heightened capacity for devotion…women are relational by nature, inquiring, possessed of great endurance and strength…”
She includes many other characteristics, as well. According to Dr. Estes, I should be playful, loyal, relational, inquiring, strong, adaptive, brave, have great endurance, and intuitive, among other things. And while I can lay claim to some of these characteristics, I can’t say I’ve always done them well. For example, I’ve been “experienced in adapting to constantly changing circumstances” in my own life, but I haven’t necessarily adapted well. Most often, I think I may have adapted out of necessity because I was tired of fighting the change.
I would love to know what characterizes you as a woman? Are Dr. Estes’ characterizations of woman accurate? Is there anything you would add? Is there anything with which you disagree?
Insight #2
“Life” (this is how I interpret it) happens to a woman that results in her instinctive nature being pushed down to where she can feel bound up and trapped. When this happens, the true nature of a woman hides. A woman begins to feel as though she doesn’t know who she is. According to Estes, the hurt and pain life brings can result in a plethora of symptoms of a woman losing touch of who she is: depression, confusion, fatigue, feeling shame, being uncreative, being volatile, feeling powerless, being out of touch with God, being fearful, and a whole host of other symptoms.
While I couldn’t put my finger on it until I picked up this book, many of these symptoms plagued my own life. Doubt about who I was and my relationship with God stayed at the forefront of my mind for a few years. Much of this had to do with how I worked within my marriage. For example, when things went wrong in my marriage, I took the blame most of the time, resulting in my own feelings of inadequacy.
Another characteristic Dr. Estes mentions is “life-sapping choices in mates.” Because of some awful relationships in which I encouraged myself to become involved, I felt the need to have to protect myself. And granted, while Proverbs 4:23 says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life,” that can be taken to the extreme, to where one can become, as Dr. Estes says, “overprotective of self.” I’m still dealing with this now, though I believe it has gotten better.
Did any of the symptoms she mentioned ring true for you? If so, can you think back on your own life and determine what events and/or people were “contributors” (and I personally believe that you are your own contributor as well) to your current state of being? What happened in your life that has resulted in you living without inspiration, that you feel stuck, that you are uncertain, fearful, anxious? Examine the list and reflect. This is serious work, especially if you want to recover who you were meant to be.
Insight #3
We can reclaim who we, as women, were destined to be! We can live “wildly,” and be “Wild Woman,” that is, we can live a natural life with integrity and within healthy boundaries. We can look within ourselves to begin reclaiming ourselves. But how do we do this? Through stories. Within stories, whether fairy tales, legends, myths (and I personally want to include stories in the biblical narrative as well), we can find ourselves. We can ask questions of the stories to gain revelation into our own souls. Dr. Estes says,
“Stories are medicine…we need only listen…The remedies for repair or reclamation of any lost psychic drive are contained in stories.”
“…story is a medicine which strengthens and arights the individual…”
“Stories are embedded with instructions which guide us about the complexities of life.”
While it may seem simplistic, stories can be powerful ways to look within yourself. That’s why book clubs are so popular. You can see yourself in a character in a book and say, “Yeah, I can relate to that.” It’s like, “I’m not alone in this life. Others are experiencing this same sort of thing.”
Can you see the potential in the transforming power of stories? Why or why not?
Today’s conclusion
Dr. Estes has provided a way back to our true self - through the examination of stories. About what Dr. Estes offers us in her book:
“…here are some stories to apply to yourself as soul vitamins, some observations, some map fragments…to guide the way back to…our psychic home.”
“Stories set the inner life into motion, and this is particularly important where the inner life is frightened, wedged, or cornered.”
“This is a book of women’s stories, held out as markers along the path…to assist you toward your own natural-won freedom.”
“The material in this book was chosen to embolden you. The work is offered as a fortification for those on their way, including those who toil in difficult inner landscapes, as well as those who toil in and for the world.”
“The wildish nature does not require a woman to be a certain color, a certain education, a certain lifestyle or economic class…in fact, it cannot thrive in an atmosphere of enforced political correctness, or by being bent into old burnt-out paradigms.”
And finally,
“Unfurl the bandages, ready the medicine. Let us return now, wild women howling, laughing, singing up The One who loves us so.”
These are just some of my insights on the introductory chapter. I’d like for you to share your own insights, maybe something you felt was more important or relevant that I missed, or just how you’re feeling about your own personal journey. This is an ongoing conversation, so we can take our time with it.
In the meantime, while we are discussing and reflecting, let’s begin reading Chapter 1, “The Howl: Resurrection of the Wild Woman” for next week. In it, she tells the story of “La Loba,” Wolf Woman, whose only work is the collecting of bones. It is a miracle story, a story of resurrection. She also tells the story of “The Four Rabbinim,” where Dr. Estes describes how we begin gathering the bones.
We’re on our way…
Article Series - Women Who Run With The Wolves - Reflections
- Reclaiming Ourselves - Women Who Run With The Wolves
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - “Singing Over The Bones” (Introduction)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 1 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 1 (Part 2)
- That Wild Woman! Well…
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 3)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 2)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 3)
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Topics: "Women Who Run With The Wolves", Health and Wellness, Personal Development, Relationships, Spiritual Growth |
Related Articles
- Reclaiming Ourselves - Women Who Run With The Wolves
- That Wild Woman! Well…
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 3 (Part 1)
- Women Who Run With The Wolves - Chapter 2 (Part 3)
February 12th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
[...] are continuing our study of Women Who Run with the Wolves. Last week’s discussion centered around the importance of using stories to begin the work of reclamation of our souls. We [...]
February 13th, 2007 at 10:08 am
I am a little behind in the discussion, but I am happy to be A WILD WOMAN!! It took the entire life process of my 36 years to become re-aquanited with her and fully BE her again, but she is here! I am here–”healthy, robust, inventive, intuitive, loyal, roving…” (p. 11).
In the past I have had more than my share of feeling “powerless, shaky, blocked, self-conscious, shame-bearing…” and the like–brought on by my acceptance of blame and situational responsibility projected upon me (p. 10). But now my Wild Woman is alilve and well and living in me again.
I also appreciate the story-approach as the anecdote for reclaimation. And, I am reminded of an incredible professor under whom I studied in seminary. Dr. Anne Streaty Wimberly, Chair of the Department of Christian Education at the Interdenominational Theological Center in Atlanta, GA wrote a book called “Soul Stories” where she introduces a method for educating adults (African-American Christians-specifically) called the story-lilnking process.
She suggests that our soul’s are searching for liberation and vocation. “Globally, [our] deep inner yearning for lilberation is [our] desire to experience [our]selves as whole or moving toward wholeness.” (Wimberley, p. 20). Through a story-linking process we reflect on positive and problematic contemporary stories and create vital links between the stories and our personal experience.
In the same manner, I look forward to our journey with Dr. Estses.
February 13th, 2007 at 10:19 am
Hi Kimberlee!
It makes sense that our souls are searching for, not just freedom, but vocation, because it seems that in vocation we’re doing that which we are called by God to do. But certainly, I know in my life, when I’m not where God wants me to be - physically, spiritually, emotionally - I do feel stuck. I’m getting unstuck now. Dr. Estes’ book is helping with that.
I’m going to have to look up Dr. Wimberly’s work…
Thank you Kimberlee!
April 9th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
I started reading WWRWtW as research for a novel I’m writing. I’m dealing with fairytale and folktale themes and motifs, particularly the feminine and goddess roles. I was expecting to find some folktales I hadn’t heard before, maybe some literary analysis of the themes therein. I certainly wasn’t expecting a very personal creative and emotional growth experience, but there you are.
I’m glad you’ve posted these study notes so I have some questions to help me better qualify what’s going on in my mind and soul as I’m reading. I notice that the actual discussion on these posts has waned as you’ve gone farther into the book - I plan on doing my best to give you some good comments on future posts.
I see myself and some, but not all, women I know to be fiercely loyal and capable of immense love and sacrifice. Some of this came to me in motherhood, but much of it was always there. I can truly say I would die for my family and my friends if necessary. I love deeply and forever and I empathize maybe a little too well. I’m the person people go to when they need an understanding ear or a shoulder to cry on. My friends know I am always there for them. I think these are all wild woman traits, though I’m still learning to balance caring for myself as well.
I was recently in an unfortunate situation that led to a dangerous violent situation and was stunned in retrospect when I realized that of the group of roughly half a dozen people I was with, both men and women, I was the ONLY one to jump up and see if anyone was hurt or in danger when trouble came. Even before I began reading WWRWtW I thought of this as the mother wolf coming out in me, fearless in the face of need and danger.
It’s not always that dramatic of course, sometimes it just the small act of going without milk in my tea so my daughter can have her morning glass of milk if we’re running low. I think many of these characteristics boil down to a lack of selfishness on our part in our very selfish and self-centered modern world.
And oh! the lists upon lists of symptoms. It seemed to go on and on and on, painfully so for me. About midway through the first paragraph I was nodding and thinking, “Yes, yes, I know I’m messed up and fearful and full of horrible self-doubt! I know I need to fix this! I know I deserve to treat myself better than I do! Help!” I come from a severely dysfunctional background and have spent years in healing and therapy. In some ways it’s amazing I’ve made it this far. But I’ve still got such a very long ways to go. You’re right, this is very deep work, but I’m ready for it.
As a writer I revere and hold the power of The Story in great regard. To me, the stories we share tell more about us than anything else we can say about ourselves. The stories that resonate in our souls give us a glimpse of our truest, highest natures. What’s more, they give us hope and healing when all other methods fail.
Hope I don’t overwhelm you with responses as I catch up!
April 9th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Hi phaenix_ash! Thank you so much for your wonderfully thoughtful comment. It sounds like you are so on your way, as we all are who seek to become who God created us to be. Facing that list of symptoms (and isn’t that list of symptoms a little scary?) gets us on that journey. But we must be willing to face them so that we can move on. In fact, in the chapter that I’m working on right now that I’m trying to get posted today (Chapter 3), Dr. Estes notes that “…it is these knowings which are the most difficult to face.” I know mine are particularly difficult, but if I’m to be whole, and if I want my daughter to begin by knowing who she is as a beautiful, brilliant, lovely, great girl, then I must do the work myself.
I so look forward to having this difficult dialogue with you!