posted by KWiz on "Women Who Run With The Wolves", Health and Wellness, Personal Development, Relationships, Spiritual Growth

How Wild Are You?

I’m excited! Today begins our first day in our study of Women Who Run with the Wolves. And as I said last week, we’re starting with the introductory chapter, “Singing Over the Bones.” Dr. Estes begins the chapter with:

“Wildlife and the Wild Woman are both endangered species.
Over time, we have seen the feminine instinctive nature looted, driven back, and overbuilt. For long periods it has been mismanaged liek the wildlife and the wildlands. For several thousand years, as soon and as often as we turn our backs, it is relegated to the poorest land in the psyche. The spiritual lands of Wild Woman have, throughout history, been plundered or burnt, dens bulldozed, and natural cycles forced into unnatural rhytms to please others.”

Yes, and what a great way to begin…

This first chapter was insightful for me for a number of reasons:

Insight #1
I discovered the characteristics which should be a part of who I am as a woman deep inside. Dr. Estes states,

“Healthy wolves and healthy women share certain psychic characteristics: keen sensing, playful spirit, and a heightened capacity for devotion…women are relational by nature, inquiring, possessed of great endurance and strength…”

She includes many other characteristics, as well. According to Dr. Estes, I should be playful, loyal, relational, inquiring, strong, adaptive, brave, have great endurance, and intuitive, among other things. And while I can lay claim to some of these characteristics, I can’t say I’ve always done them well. For example, I’ve been “experienced in adapting to constantly changing circumstances” in my own life, but I haven’t necessarily adapted well. Most often, I think I may have adapted out of necessity because I was tired of fighting the change.

I would love to know what characterizes you as a woman? Are Dr. Estes’ characterizations of woman accurate? Is there anything you would add? Is there anything with which you disagree?

Insight #2
“Life” (this is how I interpret it) happens to a woman that results in her instinctive nature being pushed down to where she can feel bound up and trapped. When this happens, the true nature of a woman hides. A woman begins to feel as though she doesn’t know who she is. According to Estes, the hurt and pain life brings can result in a plethora of symptoms of a woman losing touch of who she is: depression, confusion, fatigue, feeling shame, being uncreative, being volatile, feeling powerless, being out of touch with God, being fearful, and a whole host of other symptoms.

While I couldn’t put my finger on it until I picked up this book, many of these symptoms plagued my own life. Doubt about who I was and my relationship with God stayed at the forefront of my mind for a few years. Much of this had to do with how I worked within my marriage. For example, when things went wrong in my marriage, I took the blame most of the time, resulting in my own feelings of inadequacy.

Another characteristic Dr. Estes mentions is “life-sapping choices in mates.” Because of some awful relationships in which I encouraged myself to become involved, I felt the need to have to protect myself. And granted, while Proverbs 4:23 says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life,” that can be taken to the extreme, to where one can become, as Dr. Estes says, “overprotective of self.” I’m still dealing with this now, though I believe it has gotten better.

Did any of the symptoms she mentioned ring true for you? If so, can you think back on your own life and determine what events and/or people were “contributors” (and I personally believe that you are your own contributor as well) to your current state of being? What happened in your life that has resulted in you living without inspiration, that you feel stuck, that you are uncertain, fearful, anxious? Examine the list and reflect. This is serious work, especially if you want to recover who you were meant to be.

Insight #3
We can reclaim who we, as women, were destined to be! We can live “wildly,” and be “Wild Woman,” that is, we can live a natural life with integrity and within healthy boundaries. We can look within ourselves to begin reclaiming ourselves. But how do we do this? Through stories. Within stories, whether fairy tales, legends, myths (and I personally want to include stories in the biblical narrative as well), we can find ourselves. We can ask questions of the stories to gain revelation into our own souls. Dr. Estes says,

“Stories are medicine…we need only listen…The remedies for repair or reclamation of any lost psychic drive are contained in stories.”

“…story is a medicine which strengthens and arights the individual…”

“Stories are embedded with instructions which guide us about the complexities of life.”

While it may seem simplistic, stories can be powerful ways to look within yourself. That’s why book clubs are so popular. You can see yourself in a character in a book and say, “Yeah, I can relate to that.” It’s like, “I’m not alone in this life. Others are experiencing this same sort of thing.”

Can you see the potential in the transforming power of stories? Why or why not?

Today’s conclusion
Dr. Estes has provided a way back to our true self – through the examination of stories. About what Dr. Estes offers us in her book:

“…here are some stories to apply to yourself as soul vitamins, some observations, some map fragments…to guide the way back to…our psychic home.”

“Stories set the inner life into motion, and this is particularly important where the inner life is frightened, wedged, or cornered.”

“This is a book of women’s stories, held out as markers along the path…to assist you toward your own natural-won freedom.”

“The material in this book was chosen to embolden you. The work is offered as a fortification for those on their way, including those who toil in difficult inner landscapes, as well as those who toil in and for the world.”

“The wildish nature does not require a woman to be a certain color, a certain education, a certain lifestyle or economic class…in fact, it cannot thrive in an atmosphere of enforced political correctness, or by being bent into old burnt-out paradigms.”

And finally,

“Unfurl the bandages, ready the medicine. Let us return now, wild women howling, laughing, singing up The One who loves us so.”

These are just some of my insights on the introductory chapter. I’d like for you to share your own insights, maybe something you felt was more important or relevant that I missed, or just how you’re feeling about your own personal journey. This is an ongoing conversation, so we can take our time with it.

In the meantime, while we are discussing and reflecting, let’s begin reading Chapter 1, “The Howl: Resurrection of the Wild Woman” for next week. In it, she tells the story of “La Loba,” Wolf Woman, whose only work is the collecting of bones. It is a miracle story, a story of resurrection. She also tells the story of “The Four Rabbinim,” where Dr. Estes describes how we begin gathering the bones.

We’re on our way…